naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
I'm in the process of switching out "Amanda" from "Alex" in my friends group.  It's been at least six months.  Still feels weird.  Still feels fake.

I don't know how to make that go away, or if it's a sign I should stop, or what.

It's made even more difficult by the fact that I most often hear my name spoken aloud by medical professionals, and I'm Amanda according to my insurance.  I also have to give my name as Amanda all the time to access doctor's appointments and the like.  I'm in and out of appointments a lot, so this is a fair amount of reinforcement.

Pretty sure most places do have a slot for "preferred name".  I can take advantage of that.  But if I decide it's not for me and have to ask them to change it back, I'll just feel really stupid.

Does anyone have any advice?  Is rolling it out in stages NOT the way to go?  Should I move it out a ring and change my name on social media?  Should I give it more time?

I want this to be my name.  (I think?  The fact that it still feels weird after so long makes me doubt myself more than anything else does.)  I LIKE it.

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naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
naamah_darling

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