naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
I'm in the process of switching out "Amanda" from "Alex" in my friends group.  It's been at least six months.  Still feels weird.  Still feels fake.

I don't know how to make that go away, or if it's a sign I should stop, or what.

It's made even more difficult by the fact that I most often hear my name spoken aloud by medical professionals, and I'm Amanda according to my insurance.  I also have to give my name as Amanda all the time to access doctor's appointments and the like.  I'm in and out of appointments a lot, so this is a fair amount of reinforcement.

Pretty sure most places do have a slot for "preferred name".  I can take advantage of that.  But if I decide it's not for me and have to ask them to change it back, I'll just feel really stupid.

Does anyone have any advice?  Is rolling it out in stages NOT the way to go?  Should I move it out a ring and change my name on social media?  Should I give it more time?

I want this to be my name.  (I think?  The fact that it still feels weird after so long makes me doubt myself more than anything else does.)  I LIKE it.

Help!

Date: 2017-03-10 03:48 am (UTC)
starseeking: Fairy me! (Default)
From: [personal profile] starseeking
If it makes you feel better I was wondering how to bring out this conversation within my self, like you I want to be known as Alex. I'm finding this bizarre. I've often wondered if my friends will think "Oh it's a phase" or "damnit Kevin, quit it."

I understand certain records will always have our given names unless we legally change them. I for one don't see the need to go through the legal hassle. Though like you said, I'd have to remember that to official records I'd be Kevin.

Alex is a good name. I've always thought so since I lobbied my parents unsuccessfully to call me that since I first heard it around Kindergarten.

If you think it's strange try another variation. For example I'm torn between Alex and Lex. I know that baggage goes with going by Lex and I'm not sure that's the image I want to project because I'm not sure it's me. Alex or even Alexander *trails off* Anyway..

I don't think there's a 'right way' to do this. I think you just have to find what works for you.

Date: 2017-03-12 05:29 pm (UTC)
celtic_maenad: Oil painting of girl's shoulders & head. The girl has ram's horns and red hair, pulled back. (Default)
From: [personal profile] celtic_maenad
If it's not a bother, could you remind me what pronouns you prefer? I've known you as Naamah for a long time, and generally think of you with that name (and with a she/her pronoun, but I want to work on that if it's not correct!). To my mind Naamah is of neutral gender as a name, but I will also work on mentally using Alex!
Being a long-time BBS, LJ and now Dw user, even if I know a person's meat-space name I will still more often refer to them with their user id than face-name. But! I also want to use the *preferred* name of an individual.
Love to you!

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naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
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