Feb. 18th, 2016

naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
Between the doctor's office, the pharmacy, and Medicaid, I've been either off my Seroquel and Wellbutrin, or horrifically undermedicated, for over six weeks now.  The withdrawal tremors in my hands have stopped, but I'm still getting random twitches.  Just not every two minutes anymore.  It's maybe a couple times an hour.  Trying to get it sorted has been utterly demoralizing and overwhelming.

The crowning fuck-you was A) discovering that my doctor's office not only doesn't take the version of Medicaid I have, it has never taken it, not in the entire time I've been going there and they just somehow never noticed this, and B) the clinic manager threatening to call the police on me for no actual reason I can discern, making me feel utterly unsafe ever going back there.  Also making me feel like pond scum, AND sending me rushing for help at the last minute, still unmedicated.

So yeah, it's been horrible.

I haven't been sleeping.  I get a few hours a day here and there, but I have nothing resembling a schedule anymore.  The stomach upset this has provoked has caused a flare-up of my IBS bad enough that I'm getting symptoms too gross and embarrassing to mention here.  I basically have no control of anything, and have exhausted my emotional resources for dealing with this shit.

And the big move is coming soon.  I don't expect to be functional even then, not at the rate things are going.  I'm lucky to not be in a mixed state, but this is getting dangerous and I can't seem to get anyone professional to care enough to move on this.

So fucking unbelievable.

So yeah, that's what's been going on, and why I've been scarce and slow to get things done.  I'm a mess on a good day.  This is . . . extraordinary.

See you all on the flip side.  I'll either get my meds sorted out, or adjust to not having them, just like I didn't have them for 20+ years.


naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)

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