naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Tootsie Pops!)
Because I am all kinds of feeling like crap today, here's something fucked up and hilarious to lighten the mood.

These roosters have been specially bred to have a very long crow. They sound like Godzilla. It is fucking badass.

Warning! Sudden horrible noise! Requires sound, but don't turn it up too loud! Those with headphones, take care.



Naturally, these birds belong in entertainment:



(I KID WITH LOVE.)

I really want one of those screaming as my ringtone.

As awesome as they are, I am really glad that these things don't live near me.

Also, if I had the money, I would totally pay [livejournal.com profile] ursulav to paint me a corpse-painted, bullet-belted, nail-studded, death rooster screaming in the middle of that one forest that shows up in all the band publicity shots.

Cock jokes commence in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Tootsie Pops!)
Because I am all kinds of feeling like crap today, here's something fucked up and hilarious to lighten the mood.

These roosters have been specially bred to have a very long crow. They sound like Godzilla. It is fucking badass.

Warning! Sudden horrible noise! Requires sound, but don't turn it up too loud! Those with headphones, take care.



Naturally, these birds belong in entertainment:



(I KID WITH LOVE.)

I really want one of those screaming as my ringtone.

As awesome as they are, I am really glad that these things don't live near me.

Also, if I had the money, I would totally pay [livejournal.com profile] ursulav to paint me a corpse-painted, bullet-belted, nail-studded, death rooster screaming in the middle of that one forest that shows up in all the band publicity shots.

Cock jokes commence in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
You must go here and read that entry immediately.

Sargon finally posted the hilarious story fragment he wrote for our writers' group annual Christmas contest a couple years ago.

It contains a swearing pirate robot that swears using no actual profanity, and it's one of the funniest things I have ever read/heard.

We usually write these in, like, half an hour, and don't edit them. So that was completely off the cuff. Oh my god.

The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard I cried.

(The secret word for that year was "stygian," by the way.)
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
You must go here and read that entry immediately.

Sargon finally posted the hilarious story fragment he wrote for our writers' group annual Christmas contest a couple years ago.

It contains a swearing pirate robot that swears using no actual profanity, and it's one of the funniest things I have ever read/heard.

We usually write these in, like, half an hour, and don't edit them. So that was completely off the cuff. Oh my god.

The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard I cried.

(The secret word for that year was "stygian," by the way.)
naamah_darling: A sweet-looking long-haired black cat. She is very soft. (Tazendra)
I uploaded this a while back but I don't think I ever linked to it. This is a video of Tazendra making out with a plastic bag. The funny part is at the end, where Fish comes to investigate, and Tazendra demonstrates her usual sororal goodwill.

This is something she has done her whole life long. She especially prefers the ones from Lowe's, though we don't know why. We try to keep them away from her, but she will sneak into the closet where we put the used plastic bags and lick them furtively until one of us discovers her, whereupon she will bolt from her hiding place, often strewing bags behind her in a grisly trail.



I have been told that this indicates a vitamin shortage, to which all I can say that while it may be a habit picked up while she was malnourished and sickly, she is being looked after by two very good vets, and gets all the vitamins she needs now. She just can't break the cycle.
naamah_darling: A sweet-looking long-haired black cat. She is very soft. (Tazendra)
I uploaded this a while back but I don't think I ever linked to it. This is a video of Tazendra making out with a plastic bag. The funny part is at the end, where Fish comes to investigate, and Tazendra demonstrates her usual sororal goodwill.

This is something she has done her whole life long. She especially prefers the ones from Lowe's, though we don't know why. We try to keep them away from her, but she will sneak into the closet where we put the used plastic bags and lick them furtively until one of us discovers her, whereupon she will bolt from her hiding place, often strewing bags behind her in a grisly trail.



I have been told that this indicates a vitamin shortage, to which all I can say that while it may be a habit picked up while she was malnourished and sickly, she is being looked after by two very good vets, and gets all the vitamins she needs now. She just can't break the cycle.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I have to thank [livejournal.com profile] xviragox for this link, and also for the extreme compliment of asking me if I was, in fact responsible for it.

First, it helps to have read Dooce's saga of the $1,300 washing machine that would not fucking work. It's witheringly hilarious to begin with. She does, however, slander headless people, people with funny accents, squirrels, and Mormons, and so on, and thus it spawned an angry letter, an angry letter so wonderful that I feel I may weep.

May I please present to you The greatest email in the history of the world.

I want to quote from it, but I can't pick any one part. Oh, fuck it. Have the first three paragraphs:

Dear Mrs. Armstrong,

I am a Germanic headless anti-vaccination pioneer. I am deeply offended by your having opinions and complaining about your sub-par washing machine service.

My parents died when I was four years old. They were security guards at the city zoo that came upon a massive kudu heist in progress and halted the progress of the criminals long enough to be fatally stabbed seventy-three times in total. I spent many years on the stoop of a slumlord's crapshack, exposing myself to gang violence as bullets whistled by daily like sideways-going pigeon poop, listening to he and his portly halfbreed banshee-bull terrier wife rail against each other like two krumpers in a street circle.

I chose this loud locale for my home solely to learn to separate my w's and my v's properly amidst the screams of "piss-guzzling ass minstrel," "shit-swilling crap-belching vagina," "pithy rust-encrusted testicle envelope," and "burgeoning harlot, omni-wight-fucking chasm-cockpit, moss-growing volcanically throwing-up dick splitter, Blubberface McButtshit Taintlicker Esquire."

It only gets better -- and more insane -- from there.

The author of this gem mentions bacula. No wonder [livejournal.com profile] xviragox thought I wrote it. I'm all about the penis bones, as anyone who has read me for any length of time will know.

You must go read it all, every word, you truly must. The best stuff is further in, but is impossible to quote without context. It must simply be experienced.

I know that I am not responsible for it, though I wish I were. I do wonder, however, if it might have been the work of my sister. She's easily that hilarious.

I sadly suspect the true author may forever go unlauded, but nevertheless I would like to doff my hat to the perpetrator. Well-played, my headless friend. Very well-played.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I have to thank [livejournal.com profile] xviragox for this link, and also for the extreme compliment of asking me if I was, in fact responsible for it.

First, it helps to have read Dooce's saga of the $1,300 washing machine that would not fucking work. It's witheringly hilarious to begin with. She does, however, slander headless people, people with funny accents, squirrels, and Mormons, and so on, and thus it spawned an angry letter, an angry letter so wonderful that I feel I may weep.

May I please present to you The greatest email in the history of the world.

I want to quote from it, but I can't pick any one part. Oh, fuck it. Have the first three paragraphs:

Dear Mrs. Armstrong,

I am a Germanic headless anti-vaccination pioneer. I am deeply offended by your having opinions and complaining about your sub-par washing machine service.

My parents died when I was four years old. They were security guards at the city zoo that came upon a massive kudu heist in progress and halted the progress of the criminals long enough to be fatally stabbed seventy-three times in total. I spent many years on the stoop of a slumlord's crapshack, exposing myself to gang violence as bullets whistled by daily like sideways-going pigeon poop, listening to he and his portly halfbreed banshee-bull terrier wife rail against each other like two krumpers in a street circle.

I chose this loud locale for my home solely to learn to separate my w's and my v's properly amidst the screams of "piss-guzzling ass minstrel," "shit-swilling crap-belching vagina," "pithy rust-encrusted testicle envelope," and "burgeoning harlot, omni-wight-fucking chasm-cockpit, moss-growing volcanically throwing-up dick splitter, Blubberface McButtshit Taintlicker Esquire."

It only gets better -- and more insane -- from there.

The author of this gem mentions bacula. No wonder [livejournal.com profile] xviragox thought I wrote it. I'm all about the penis bones, as anyone who has read me for any length of time will know.

You must go read it all, every word, you truly must. The best stuff is further in, but is impossible to quote without context. It must simply be experienced.

I know that I am not responsible for it, though I wish I were. I do wonder, however, if it might have been the work of my sister. She's easily that hilarious.

I sadly suspect the true author may forever go unlauded, but nevertheless I would like to doff my hat to the perpetrator. Well-played, my headless friend. Very well-played.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I love literal version videos. This is the best one I have yet seen.



Normally I don't post wacky videos here unless they're mine, but exceptional lolarity gets exceptional treatment. This has some of the best clever lyrics for a literal version I've seen.

My hands are shaking and my throat and stomach hurt I was laughing so hard.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ellen_kushner.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I love literal version videos. This is the best one I have yet seen.



Normally I don't post wacky videos here unless they're mine, but exceptional lolarity gets exceptional treatment. This has some of the best clever lyrics for a literal version I've seen.

My hands are shaking and my throat and stomach hurt I was laughing so hard.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ellen_kushner.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Gay Agenda)
Because I feel that after all this Prop 8 fuckery we could use a little levity, I present here a hilarious link, courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva.

The Movement to Protect Singing

Choice excerpt:

Indeed it is surely not too extreme to suggest that the ultimate aim of those who would seek to promote homosexual songs is to do away with the concept of singing altogether. It is a stealth movement that is fundamentally opposed to our musical values. If we accept homosexual songs, what next? Will we have to define the noise a goat makes as ’singing’?

Homosexuals do not even need singing. There are already plenty of perfectly good words that describe the noises that they make, such as ’screeching’, ‘yelling’ and ‘wailing’; they will still be permitted to use those words.


Worth reading in its glorious, satirical entirety. Bravo.

The only thing I could possibly criticise is that it is entirely too literate and articulate to be believable. Sadly, the loevel of logic involved is spot-on.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Gay Agenda)
Because I feel that after all this Prop 8 fuckery we could use a little levity, I present here a hilarious link, courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva.

The Movement to Protect Singing

Choice excerpt:

Indeed it is surely not too extreme to suggest that the ultimate aim of those who would seek to promote homosexual songs is to do away with the concept of singing altogether. It is a stealth movement that is fundamentally opposed to our musical values. If we accept homosexual songs, what next? Will we have to define the noise a goat makes as ’singing’?

Homosexuals do not even need singing. There are already plenty of perfectly good words that describe the noises that they make, such as ’screeching’, ‘yelling’ and ‘wailing’; they will still be permitted to use those words.


Worth reading in its glorious, satirical entirety. Bravo.

The only thing I could possibly criticise is that it is entirely too literate and articulate to be believable. Sadly, the loevel of logic involved is spot-on.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
Yeah, okay, you need to go read this. It's Sargon's fragment from our writers' group Christmas goofy writing fragment contest.


sargon999: The Return of....DOCTOR TENTACLE!

Previous bad writing entries Here, and two more here.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
Yeah, okay, you need to go read this. It's Sargon's fragment from our writers' group Christmas goofy writing fragment contest.


sargon999: The Return of....DOCTOR TENTACLE!

Previous bad writing entries Here, and two more here.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)


If the video doesn't work, refresh the page, or click this link to view it directly on YouTube.

Long-time readers will note that I have kind of a thing for doing this to helpless animals, and it's not the first time I've done it to Tazendra. Later I will come back here and add in links to all the other pertinent entries.

I think it's worth noting that she snuggled with me the entire rest of the night. Stinky little goblin, awww.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)


If the video doesn't work, refresh the page, or click this link to view it directly on YouTube.

Long-time readers will note that I have kind of a thing for doing this to helpless animals, and it's not the first time I've done it to Tazendra. Later I will come back here and add in links to all the other pertinent entries.

I think it's worth noting that she snuggled with me the entire rest of the night. Stinky little goblin, awww.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Neon: Free Smells)
Want to connect with your inner 8-year-old?

Via [livejournal.com profile] spacezombie:



Requires sound. Don't watch this anywhere there are people who would be offended by prolonged fart noises or anywhere you cannot laugh with impunity. Share with children!

Had a really rough night. One of those days where I just can't do anything right or accomplish anything. Tomorrow delivery guys arrive at who knows when to bring us our new TV, which I am not looking forward to because I hate not knowing when things are going to happen. Later, we go out to dinner with Sargon's parents after showing them the new house. Right now I have to try to sleep, even though I am halfway to a goddamn panic attack and the last thing I want to do is get in bed and turn out the light and just lie there with it.

At least I got almost all the skulls over there tonight and arranged attractively in the central pillar. You can see the pillar I mean here, though the room has since been painted. I would post pictures of the display, but guess who forgot the camera for the fourth time? Yeah, I said I fail at everything today. Trust me when I say it looks fucking badass. I'm looking forward to hearing Sargon's parents' reaction to it.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Neon: Free Smells)
Want to connect with your inner 8-year-old?

Via [livejournal.com profile] spacezombie:



Requires sound. Don't watch this anywhere there are people who would be offended by prolonged fart noises or anywhere you cannot laugh with impunity. Share with children!

Had a really rough night. One of those days where I just can't do anything right or accomplish anything. Tomorrow delivery guys arrive at who knows when to bring us our new TV, which I am not looking forward to because I hate not knowing when things are going to happen. Later, we go out to dinner with Sargon's parents after showing them the new house. Right now I have to try to sleep, even though I am halfway to a goddamn panic attack and the last thing I want to do is get in bed and turn out the light and just lie there with it.

At least I got almost all the skulls over there tonight and arranged attractively in the central pillar. You can see the pillar I mean here, though the room has since been painted. I would post pictures of the display, but guess who forgot the camera for the fourth time? Yeah, I said I fail at everything today. Trust me when I say it looks fucking badass. I'm looking forward to hearing Sargon's parents' reaction to it.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I have a lot of stuff of substance I want to say but I'm not up to dealing with the comment fallout, so you get a cat playing the theremin instead. I haven't laughed this hard in . . . weeks. It's all hilarious, but you have to watch right to the very end.



It's all in the facial expressions.

Sorry I haven't been around more, talking more, but I'm processing a lot of stuff right now and I'm not sure where journaling really fits with all of it.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I have a lot of stuff of substance I want to say but I'm not up to dealing with the comment fallout, so you get a cat playing the theremin instead. I haven't laughed this hard in . . . weeks. It's all hilarious, but you have to watch right to the very end.



It's all in the facial expressions.

Sorry I haven't been around more, talking more, but I'm processing a lot of stuff right now and I'm not sure where journaling really fits with all of it.

Profile

naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
naamah_darling

March 2017

S M T W T F S
   1234
5 678 910 11
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Mar. 22nd, 2017 10:03 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios