naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Dude Breakdancing Stripper Emergency)
Sargon: *SKREEEEEK!*

Naamah: What the fuck was that about? No, really, what the fuck was that?!

Sargon: I wanted to make a noise like a pterodactyl. What's complicated about that?
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Dude Breakdancing Stripper Emergency)
Sargon: *SKREEEEEK!*

Naamah: What the fuck was that about? No, really, what the fuck was that?!

Sargon: I wanted to make a noise like a pterodactyl. What's complicated about that?
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Creed)
We had our last (for the time being) gaming session with the Masters of Disaster last week. So, without further ado, a last roundup of the really good quotes. I should have been doing these all along, but an innate sense of modesty (shut up stop laughing) prevented me from it. I mean, Jesus, it's roleplaying. You really had to be there. (And yet geeks still love sharing roleplaying stories. It's a sickness.)

Recap of the cast:

Bianca is the pyrokinetic and causer of great collateral damage. Played by [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva.

Tony is Cole, AKA \m/Metalord\m/, a ferrokinetic who is certifiably insane. Probably the most entertaining character of the group, which comes as no surprise as his player is easily one of the top 3 funny people I know.

I'm playing Creed, or WarHog, a foulmouthed borderline-paranoiac ex-con horndog janitor-turned-radioactive-pig-man who later accidentally acquired super-stretch powers that were meant to humiliate him but which he kept because of their extreme usefulness. Also Bianca's boyfriend.

Alison, an NPC, is just plain bloodthirsty crazy. Also Cole's girlfriend.

Von Draco is our super-rich supervillain megacorporate backer.

Ilsa was a crazy Nazi supervillainess, either immportal or time-traveling, we were never sure.

Cole: "Great, I'm a robot for, like, 3 seconds and she starts flirting with the pig!"
Alison: "You say you can extrude sex organs whenever I want, and you're following me around, but do you extrude? No!"

Cole: I need to find a computer so I can log on to fuckedplan.com.

*Players arguing.*
GM, exasperatedly: "No, Von Draco's brain was never in space!"

Creed, to mind-controlled Cole: "Now, see, I would love to fight with you, but Ilsa's pissing me off with her Nazi tits." (Fighting Nazis is something that every super group should get to do.)

Creed, to teenage clone pop-star who had recently been reprogrammed and now suffered from terrible bouts of swearing: "Come on, honey, would you like a drink?"
Bianca: "Did you just try to pick up a 13-year-old girl?"
Cole: "With Tourette's?!"
Creed: "No, no, no. I'm just trying to help her!"
Cole: "But you're surprisingly good at it."

Alison: "An ear is just an ear. Two ears is just a couple of ears. But three ears is a collection."

Cole: "Dude, bring on the tentacles, I've got 4 HP."

Ilsa (in thick German accent): "Interesting. Is he *unintelligible*."
Players: "What?" "Huh?" "Invoderable?"
Ilsa: "INVULNERABLE. Or is he made out of meat?"
Creed: "Whoa, lady. There is no need for you to check my meat status."

Cole: "Or we could go hang out in the future."
Creed: "I don't do the future. There's Nazi penis monsters there." (And there were. I still have flashbacks. Thanks, Sargon.)

Von Draco: "We're going to have a debriefing in the meeting room."
Creed: ". . . Okay, but I'm going to wear clothes."

Cole: "I left my genetic samples in my other pants."

Creed: "The Red Queen, fuck us in the ass? I don't think so. WE'RE the ones with the dildo ship."

Creed, on being asked to get into the cockpit of said ship: "Oh, no. I don't wanna become a mind-slave to the intergalactic clitty-pummeler."

And, courtesy of Cole's player, a description of his finest moment, one of the best in the whole game.

"And in what was probably my favorite adventure, when we were thrown back into the Old West, I stood atop a flying submarine (it was my own magnetic powers flying it, natch) like freaking Captain Harlock, zapping laser-shooting pterodactyls out of the sky as we assaulted a mad scientist's secret base inside an invisible mountain. When the scientist tried to shoot his death ray from the side of the mountain, I magnetically wrenched it off its moorings and yanked it out, then said, "You know what? I've changed my mind. You can have it back," and flung the giant weapon back into his control room.

It made a big mess. Heh."


My own personal high point, a moment I will remember most fondly, was when I was getting a beer and someone knocked on my trailer door. I specifically told Sargon I'd shaken up the beer as soon as I heard the knock, because I figured I would just mess with whoever had come to bother me and give them the fizzy beer. It turned out to be a woman I didn't like at all, and as it turns out she'd been sent to bring me in to the government base against my will.

She pulled a gun on me in my (then still-vulnerable) human shape to try to take me prisoner, but I'd set it up so beautifully . . . I rolled, like, a two to hit, which would have been critical if beer did damage, and then another two for location, so I sprayed her right in the face. I was able to get the gun away from her after that. It wasn't a great superheroic moment, but I avoided an unpleasant fate with nothing more than my wits. And beer.

I'm doing a character 180 with the next game. A research dork. We'll see how that turns out.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Creed)
We had our last (for the time being) gaming session with the Masters of Disaster last week. So, without further ado, a last roundup of the really good quotes. I should have been doing these all along, but an innate sense of modesty (shut up stop laughing) prevented me from it. I mean, Jesus, it's roleplaying. You really had to be there. (And yet geeks still love sharing roleplaying stories. It's a sickness.)

Recap of the cast:

Bianca is the pyrokinetic and causer of great collateral damage. Played by [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva.

Tony is Cole, AKA \m/Metalord\m/, a ferrokinetic who is certifiably insane. Probably the most entertaining character of the group, which comes as no surprise as his player is easily one of the top 3 funny people I know.

I'm playing Creed, or WarHog, a foulmouthed borderline-paranoiac ex-con horndog janitor-turned-radioactive-pig-man who later accidentally acquired super-stretch powers that were meant to humiliate him but which he kept because of their extreme usefulness. Also Bianca's boyfriend.

Alison, an NPC, is just plain bloodthirsty crazy. Also Cole's girlfriend.

Von Draco is our super-rich supervillain megacorporate backer.

Ilsa was a crazy Nazi supervillainess, either immportal or time-traveling, we were never sure.

Cole: "Great, I'm a robot for, like, 3 seconds and she starts flirting with the pig!"
Alison: "You say you can extrude sex organs whenever I want, and you're following me around, but do you extrude? No!"

Cole: I need to find a computer so I can log on to fuckedplan.com.

*Players arguing.*
GM, exasperatedly: "No, Von Draco's brain was never in space!"

Creed, to mind-controlled Cole: "Now, see, I would love to fight with you, but Ilsa's pissing me off with her Nazi tits." (Fighting Nazis is something that every super group should get to do.)

Creed, to teenage clone pop-star who had recently been reprogrammed and now suffered from terrible bouts of swearing: "Come on, honey, would you like a drink?"
Bianca: "Did you just try to pick up a 13-year-old girl?"
Cole: "With Tourette's?!"
Creed: "No, no, no. I'm just trying to help her!"
Cole: "But you're surprisingly good at it."

Alison: "An ear is just an ear. Two ears is just a couple of ears. But three ears is a collection."

Cole: "Dude, bring on the tentacles, I've got 4 HP."

Ilsa (in thick German accent): "Interesting. Is he *unintelligible*."
Players: "What?" "Huh?" "Invoderable?"
Ilsa: "INVULNERABLE. Or is he made out of meat?"
Creed: "Whoa, lady. There is no need for you to check my meat status."

Cole: "Or we could go hang out in the future."
Creed: "I don't do the future. There's Nazi penis monsters there." (And there were. I still have flashbacks. Thanks, Sargon.)

Von Draco: "We're going to have a debriefing in the meeting room."
Creed: ". . . Okay, but I'm going to wear clothes."

Cole: "I left my genetic samples in my other pants."

Creed: "The Red Queen, fuck us in the ass? I don't think so. WE'RE the ones with the dildo ship."

Creed, on being asked to get into the cockpit of said ship: "Oh, no. I don't wanna become a mind-slave to the intergalactic clitty-pummeler."

And, courtesy of Cole's player, a description of his finest moment, one of the best in the whole game.

"And in what was probably my favorite adventure, when we were thrown back into the Old West, I stood atop a flying submarine (it was my own magnetic powers flying it, natch) like freaking Captain Harlock, zapping laser-shooting pterodactyls out of the sky as we assaulted a mad scientist's secret base inside an invisible mountain. When the scientist tried to shoot his death ray from the side of the mountain, I magnetically wrenched it off its moorings and yanked it out, then said, "You know what? I've changed my mind. You can have it back," and flung the giant weapon back into his control room.

It made a big mess. Heh."


My own personal high point, a moment I will remember most fondly, was when I was getting a beer and someone knocked on my trailer door. I specifically told Sargon I'd shaken up the beer as soon as I heard the knock, because I figured I would just mess with whoever had come to bother me and give them the fizzy beer. It turned out to be a woman I didn't like at all, and as it turns out she'd been sent to bring me in to the government base against my will.

She pulled a gun on me in my (then still-vulnerable) human shape to try to take me prisoner, but I'd set it up so beautifully . . . I rolled, like, a two to hit, which would have been critical if beer did damage, and then another two for location, so I sprayed her right in the face. I was able to get the gun away from her after that. It wasn't a great superheroic moment, but I avoided an unpleasant fate with nothing more than my wits. And beer.

I'm doing a character 180 with the next game. A research dork. We'll see how that turns out.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I need to clear these out of my working file, so . . . some quotes from conversations between Sargon and I. Some older, some recent. None are gaming related. We just talk like this.

"Fiend! Leave my pants out of your twisted vendetta!"

"Stop sniffing at that . . . head!"

"Oh, Fishy, you're so cu—DON'T SCRAPE YOUR EYE-BOOGERS OFF ON ME!"

"What do you get when you mix horrible and adorable? Fi—OW!"

"Yeah! Yeah! I am totally carving a pentagram into that goat!"

"It's too bad movies can't actually be, you know, killed." (Re: The Scarlet Letter)

"How fresh do you think that slime is, anyway?"

"Awesomite: it's made of ROCK."

"Pants! Pants are runcible!"

"It'll be easy. Totally easy. Like taking pants from a baby."

"Dr. Frankenstein really needs to simplify his monsterbation ritual."

"Frankenstein's just afraid his creation will show up to exercise his droit de monsteur."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I need to clear these out of my working file, so . . . some quotes from conversations between Sargon and I. Some older, some recent. None are gaming related. We just talk like this.

"Fiend! Leave my pants out of your twisted vendetta!"

"Stop sniffing at that . . . head!"

"Oh, Fishy, you're so cu—DON'T SCRAPE YOUR EYE-BOOGERS OFF ON ME!"

"What do you get when you mix horrible and adorable? Fi—OW!"

"Yeah! Yeah! I am totally carving a pentagram into that goat!"

"It's too bad movies can't actually be, you know, killed." (Re: The Scarlet Letter)

"How fresh do you think that slime is, anyway?"

"Awesomite: it's made of ROCK."

"Pants! Pants are runcible!"

"It'll be easy. Totally easy. Like taking pants from a baby."

"Dr. Frankenstein really needs to simplify his monsterbation ritual."

"Frankenstein's just afraid his creation will show up to exercise his droit de monsteur."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Creed)
See, I promised [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva that I would post this, so I guess this is inaug- inargur- inaguar- big word. Inaugural. Or something.

My gaming comrades [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva, Tony, and I are playing a group of powerful yet dangerously incompetent newbie superheroes. Sargon is the filthy sadist Game Master and director of all Non-Player Characters.

So, [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva plays Bianca/MissFire. (Sorry, Firewing/Flame Angel/have we decided?) She's a pyrokinetic and causer of great collateral damage.

Tony is Cole, AKA \m/MetalLORD\m/, a ferrokinetic who is probably insane.

I'm playing Creed, or WarHog, a foulmouthed paranoiac janitor ex-con who was mutated into a radioactive pig-man (see icon by [livejournal.com profile] missmonstermel). Dashingly handsome, hates Coldplay.

Natalie is a non-player character speedster drama queen smart chick who recently broke up with Creed by dragging him into the middle of the desert and leaving him there to wander until he got lost in space and time.

Alison is a berserker Amazon NPC with green hair and nonexistent impulse control; she is the only person crazy enough to sleep with Cole, and vice-versa. She used to be a secretary. I think that too much phone time is why she's so hostile.

Between us we are . . . the Masters of Disaster.

I've been keeping track of Quotes of the Week, because holy shit, this is better than Buffy. I haven't posted them, for which I got nudged, so . . . [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva wants a list, she gets a list. In chronological order, even.

Bianca: "No, Mommy, No! Not the turkey hat!" (The things people say when they're coming to. We were all more innocent, then.)

Bianca: "I'm inherently hostile toward the pterodactyl." (You would be, too. There were death rays.)

Bianca: "It's a giant pig dong. How can they MISS IT?" (This is why I miss my stretchy pants.)

Creed: "Nah, I think Natalie goes more for the PhD type."
Cole: "That rules you out, dude."
Creed: "What? I got my GED. They just don't let you put that after your name."

Cole: "Taste the flaming fist of justice!"
*misses*
Creed: "Well, actually, just sorta sniff it as it goes by."

Cole: "I just wanna go on record as saying that next time we go to an archive, I wanna go to the PARTY archive, not the DOOMSDAY archive." (Dude, the Chantilly Rose was the party archive. We left it to come back to the future because you wanted to check your email or something. Not my idea.)

Bianca: "If I can get washed off and burst into flame, I can take care of the damn penis!" (She did, too. Give uncle Scrotor a hug!)

Creed: "Oh, god, it's a penis that can dodge!"
GM: "Fuck that, it's a penis with stats." (This is why you never let Sargon run a game with you in it. At least there were no death rays mounted on the penis.)

Cole: "I'm a buzzsaw of . . ." *rolls percentiles to attack* "97!" (We call him "Dr. 95" for a reason. We have a theme song, but we do not have a greatest hits album.)

Cole (after enormous fight): "Where's Natalie?"
Bianca: "Do we pretend to care?"
Creed: "Shit, she knows our secrets!"
Bianca: "Yeah, shit, we'd better care."

Alison: "You've got a sarcophagus, you might as well put a head in it."

Creed: "Words I love to hear: 'like primordial ooze.'"
Ilsa: "Indeed, is fresh new hell, yes?"

Alison: "An ear is just an ear. Two ears is just a couple of ears. But three ears is a collection." (Don't worry. She's not one of those . . . amputators.)

Cole, speaking for all gamers everywhere: "Dude, bring on the tentacles, I got 4 hit points." (Remember that primordial ooze, dude?)

I may as well just start posting these as they happen, since catch-up is a bitch. Before I go, a few good ones from just Sargon and me, put down for my own amusement:

Art/Captain Rogue: "He's a thousand years old?" *sigh* "If there's one thing that will make me question your character, it's not dying when you're supposed to."

Lex: "Arrrrgh! I'm surrounded by incompetence! . . . Let's get ice cream."

Constantine: "Hmm, yes. There is some really delicate seat-of-the-pants science bullshit going on here, and we have to blow it up." (As life philosophies go, this is pretty good.)
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Creed)
See, I promised [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva that I would post this, so I guess this is inaug- inargur- inaguar- big word. Inaugural. Or something.

My gaming comrades [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva, Tony, and I are playing a group of powerful yet dangerously incompetent newbie superheroes. Sargon is the filthy sadist Game Master and director of all Non-Player Characters.

So, [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva plays Bianca/MissFire. (Sorry, Firewing/Flame Angel/have we decided?) She's a pyrokinetic and causer of great collateral damage.

Tony is Cole, AKA \m/MetalLORD\m/, a ferrokinetic who is probably insane.

I'm playing Creed, or WarHog, a foulmouthed paranoiac janitor ex-con who was mutated into a radioactive pig-man (see icon by [livejournal.com profile] missmonstermel). Dashingly handsome, hates Coldplay.

Natalie is a non-player character speedster drama queen smart chick who recently broke up with Creed by dragging him into the middle of the desert and leaving him there to wander until he got lost in space and time.

Alison is a berserker Amazon NPC with green hair and nonexistent impulse control; she is the only person crazy enough to sleep with Cole, and vice-versa. She used to be a secretary. I think that too much phone time is why she's so hostile.

Between us we are . . . the Masters of Disaster.

I've been keeping track of Quotes of the Week, because holy shit, this is better than Buffy. I haven't posted them, for which I got nudged, so . . . [livejournal.com profile] bat_cheva wants a list, she gets a list. In chronological order, even.

Bianca: "No, Mommy, No! Not the turkey hat!" (The things people say when they're coming to. We were all more innocent, then.)

Bianca: "I'm inherently hostile toward the pterodactyl." (You would be, too. There were death rays.)

Bianca: "It's a giant pig dong. How can they MISS IT?" (This is why I miss my stretchy pants.)

Creed: "Nah, I think Natalie goes more for the PhD type."
Cole: "That rules you out, dude."
Creed: "What? I got my GED. They just don't let you put that after your name."

Cole: "Taste the flaming fist of justice!"
*misses*
Creed: "Well, actually, just sorta sniff it as it goes by."

Cole: "I just wanna go on record as saying that next time we go to an archive, I wanna go to the PARTY archive, not the DOOMSDAY archive." (Dude, the Chantilly Rose was the party archive. We left it to come back to the future because you wanted to check your email or something. Not my idea.)

Bianca: "If I can get washed off and burst into flame, I can take care of the damn penis!" (She did, too. Give uncle Scrotor a hug!)

Creed: "Oh, god, it's a penis that can dodge!"
GM: "Fuck that, it's a penis with stats." (This is why you never let Sargon run a game with you in it. At least there were no death rays mounted on the penis.)

Cole: "I'm a buzzsaw of . . ." *rolls percentiles to attack* "97!" (We call him "Dr. 95" for a reason. We have a theme song, but we do not have a greatest hits album.)

Cole (after enormous fight): "Where's Natalie?"
Bianca: "Do we pretend to care?"
Creed: "Shit, she knows our secrets!"
Bianca: "Yeah, shit, we'd better care."

Alison: "You've got a sarcophagus, you might as well put a head in it."

Creed: "Words I love to hear: 'like primordial ooze.'"
Ilsa: "Indeed, is fresh new hell, yes?"

Alison: "An ear is just an ear. Two ears is just a couple of ears. But three ears is a collection." (Don't worry. She's not one of those . . . amputators.)

Cole, speaking for all gamers everywhere: "Dude, bring on the tentacles, I got 4 hit points." (Remember that primordial ooze, dude?)

I may as well just start posting these as they happen, since catch-up is a bitch. Before I go, a few good ones from just Sargon and me, put down for my own amusement:

Art/Captain Rogue: "He's a thousand years old?" *sigh* "If there's one thing that will make me question your character, it's not dying when you're supposed to."

Lex: "Arrrrgh! I'm surrounded by incompetence! . . . Let's get ice cream."

Constantine: "Hmm, yes. There is some really delicate seat-of-the-pants science bullshit going on here, and we have to blow it up." (As life philosophies go, this is pretty good.)

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