I never checked in with you all about the job opportunity I alluded to oh-so-briefly at the end of this entry here
. It didn't turn out to be a job either of us would want to take, which is a shame, but we did still see good friends and we had an interesting time.
On Monday I saw my doctor and we addressed the pharmaceutical woes I've been having. I changed drugs, and I'm already feeling miles and miles better, better than I have felt in weeks
. There's a bigger post coming on that, maybe, provided it lasts, but for now I'll just say that I'm intensely grateful to have had two relatively functional and normal days in a row – something I have not had in months.
I don't know. It may evaporate . . . it may just be temporary, brought on by the inevitable surge of hope and energy that starting a new drug brings. It's a huge relief, nevertheless.
I feel well enough that today I made an appointment to get a dental checkup, and another appointment for my long-overdue "well-woman exam," which is a bullshit term if I ever heard one, since if I were interested in remaining a "well woman" I would stay far the fuck away from doctors' waiting rooms in general, and gynecologists' in particular.
I am sure it says something about me that the prospect of being told I will have to have multiple fillings is less daunting to me than going to see another goddamn
gynecologist. I really hope this one is not crazy, a misogynist, a liar, or a callous, icy-hearted bitch. If this one lights me on fire while murdering my cat, we'll be batting 5/5 for Team Psycho. Ugh. Just thinking about it is making me feel queasy, so I'm trying to put it out of my mind.
As if I'm not already out of my mind.
Still, it needs to be done, even if it makes me want to fucking puke, so I might as well get it out of the way.
See? See? I'm feeling well enough to bitch about stuff
. I'm going to live!
At any rate, there's a flicker of hope for the future, and I thought I'd let you know that. I mean, my posting has picked way
up. Surely . . . surely my creativity can't be far behind.