naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
You must go here and read that entry immediately.

Sargon finally posted the hilarious story fragment he wrote for our writers' group annual Christmas contest a couple years ago.

It contains a swearing pirate robot that swears using no actual profanity, and it's one of the funniest things I have ever read/heard.

We usually write these in, like, half an hour, and don't edit them. So that was completely off the cuff. Oh my god.

The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard I cried.

(The secret word for that year was "stygian," by the way.)
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
You must go here and read that entry immediately.

Sargon finally posted the hilarious story fragment he wrote for our writers' group annual Christmas contest a couple years ago.

It contains a swearing pirate robot that swears using no actual profanity, and it's one of the funniest things I have ever read/heard.

We usually write these in, like, half an hour, and don't edit them. So that was completely off the cuff. Oh my god.

The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard I cried.

(The secret word for that year was "stygian," by the way.)
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Lucian Awesome)
"I'm a werewolf."

There's only three possible statements that can follow this revelation.

"Chain me up!"

"Run!"

"Check this out!"
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Lucian Awesome)
"I'm a werewolf."

There's only three possible statements that can follow this revelation.

"Chain me up!"

"Run!"

"Check this out!"
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I need to clear these out of my working file, so . . . some quotes from conversations between Sargon and I. Some older, some recent. None are gaming related. We just talk like this.

"Fiend! Leave my pants out of your twisted vendetta!"

"Stop sniffing at that . . . head!"

"Oh, Fishy, you're so cu—DON'T SCRAPE YOUR EYE-BOOGERS OFF ON ME!"

"What do you get when you mix horrible and adorable? Fi—OW!"

"Yeah! Yeah! I am totally carving a pentagram into that goat!"

"It's too bad movies can't actually be, you know, killed." (Re: The Scarlet Letter)

"How fresh do you think that slime is, anyway?"

"Awesomite: it's made of ROCK."

"Pants! Pants are runcible!"

"It'll be easy. Totally easy. Like taking pants from a baby."

"Dr. Frankenstein really needs to simplify his monsterbation ritual."

"Frankenstein's just afraid his creation will show up to exercise his droit de monsteur."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
I need to clear these out of my working file, so . . . some quotes from conversations between Sargon and I. Some older, some recent. None are gaming related. We just talk like this.

"Fiend! Leave my pants out of your twisted vendetta!"

"Stop sniffing at that . . . head!"

"Oh, Fishy, you're so cu—DON'T SCRAPE YOUR EYE-BOOGERS OFF ON ME!"

"What do you get when you mix horrible and adorable? Fi—OW!"

"Yeah! Yeah! I am totally carving a pentagram into that goat!"

"It's too bad movies can't actually be, you know, killed." (Re: The Scarlet Letter)

"How fresh do you think that slime is, anyway?"

"Awesomite: it's made of ROCK."

"Pants! Pants are runcible!"

"It'll be easy. Totally easy. Like taking pants from a baby."

"Dr. Frankenstein really needs to simplify his monsterbation ritual."

"Frankenstein's just afraid his creation will show up to exercise his droit de monsteur."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
Me: "Will you still love me even when I'm old and saggy?"

Sargon: "I'm looking forward to it. You'll get that fluffy, wiggly skin on the backs of your upper arms."

Me: ". . ."

Sargon: "Before I die I will know for sure that an old lady's arm fat has been jizzed on."

Me: ". . . Oh my god. That is so gross. I'm going upstairs. I don't believe this."

Sargon: "What?! Wouldn't you be happy I still want to--?"

Me: "AAAUGH! Jesus Christ. You are so sick!"

Sargon: "We'll be married. To each other, even. It's not like there's anything wrong with it."

Me: "I wish I were recording this conversation."

Sargon: "You could do your best to transcribe it."

Me: "I probably will."

Sargon: "I'll deny everything."

Me: "They would believe me. They wouldn't believe you. Especially people who know you."

Sargon: "Yes, well. It's already been established that you're a terrible liar. Naamah, have you been in the chocolates?"

The scary part is that I am not entirely sure he was kidding. I guess in another 40 years, we'll know.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (LMAO)
Me: "Will you still love me even when I'm old and saggy?"

Sargon: "I'm looking forward to it. You'll get that fluffy, wiggly skin on the backs of your upper arms."

Me: ". . ."

Sargon: "Before I die I will know for sure that an old lady's arm fat has been jizzed on."

Me: ". . . Oh my god. That is so gross. I'm going upstairs. I don't believe this."

Sargon: "What?! Wouldn't you be happy I still want to--?"

Me: "AAAUGH! Jesus Christ. You are so sick!"

Sargon: "We'll be married. To each other, even. It's not like there's anything wrong with it."

Me: "I wish I were recording this conversation."

Sargon: "You could do your best to transcribe it."

Me: "I probably will."

Sargon: "I'll deny everything."

Me: "They would believe me. They wouldn't believe you. Especially people who know you."

Sargon: "Yes, well. It's already been established that you're a terrible liar. Naamah, have you been in the chocolates?"

The scary part is that I am not entirely sure he was kidding. I guess in another 40 years, we'll know.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (You Fool!)
Best wishes, oaths of eternal fealty, and nudie pics are always appropriate tribute.

And now, I go downstairs to give him presents!
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (You Fool!)
Best wishes, oaths of eternal fealty, and nudie pics are always appropriate tribute.

And now, I go downstairs to give him presents!
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Naamah Scientist)
I never checked in with you all about the job opportunity I alluded to oh-so-briefly at the end of this entry here. It didn't turn out to be a job either of us would want to take, which is a shame, but we did still see good friends and we had an interesting time.

On Monday I saw my doctor and we addressed the pharmaceutical woes I've been having. I changed drugs, and I'm already feeling miles and miles better, better than I have felt in weeks. There's a bigger post coming on that, maybe, provided it lasts, but for now I'll just say that I'm intensely grateful to have had two relatively functional and normal days in a row – something I have not had in months.

I don't know. It may evaporate . . . it may just be temporary, brought on by the inevitable surge of hope and energy that starting a new drug brings. It's a huge relief, nevertheless.

I feel well enough that today I made an appointment to get a dental checkup, and another appointment for my long-overdue "well-woman exam," which is a bullshit term if I ever heard one, since if I were interested in remaining a "well woman" I would stay far the fuck away from doctors' waiting rooms in general, and gynecologists' in particular.

I am sure it says something about me that the prospect of being told I will have to have multiple fillings is less daunting to me than going to see another goddamn gynecologist. I really hope this one is not crazy, a misogynist, a liar, or a callous, icy-hearted bitch. If this one lights me on fire while murdering my cat, we'll be batting 5/5 for Team Psycho. Ugh. Just thinking about it is making me feel queasy, so I'm trying to put it out of my mind.

As if I'm not already out of my mind.

Still, it needs to be done, even if it makes me want to fucking puke, so I might as well get it out of the way.

See? See? I'm feeling well enough to bitch about stuff. I'm going to live!

At any rate, there's a flicker of hope for the future, and I thought I'd let you know that. I mean, my posting has picked way up. Surely . . . surely my creativity can't be far behind.

Please?

Pretty please?
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Naamah Scientist)
I never checked in with you all about the job opportunity I alluded to oh-so-briefly at the end of this entry here. It didn't turn out to be a job either of us would want to take, which is a shame, but we did still see good friends and we had an interesting time.

On Monday I saw my doctor and we addressed the pharmaceutical woes I've been having. I changed drugs, and I'm already feeling miles and miles better, better than I have felt in weeks. There's a bigger post coming on that, maybe, provided it lasts, but for now I'll just say that I'm intensely grateful to have had two relatively functional and normal days in a row – something I have not had in months.

I don't know. It may evaporate . . . it may just be temporary, brought on by the inevitable surge of hope and energy that starting a new drug brings. It's a huge relief, nevertheless.

I feel well enough that today I made an appointment to get a dental checkup, and another appointment for my long-overdue "well-woman exam," which is a bullshit term if I ever heard one, since if I were interested in remaining a "well woman" I would stay far the fuck away from doctors' waiting rooms in general, and gynecologists' in particular.

I am sure it says something about me that the prospect of being told I will have to have multiple fillings is less daunting to me than going to see another goddamn gynecologist. I really hope this one is not crazy, a misogynist, a liar, or a callous, icy-hearted bitch. If this one lights me on fire while murdering my cat, we'll be batting 5/5 for Team Psycho. Ugh. Just thinking about it is making me feel queasy, so I'm trying to put it out of my mind.

As if I'm not already out of my mind.

Still, it needs to be done, even if it makes me want to fucking puke, so I might as well get it out of the way.

See? See? I'm feeling well enough to bitch about stuff. I'm going to live!

At any rate, there's a flicker of hope for the future, and I thought I'd let you know that. I mean, my posting has picked way up. Surely . . . surely my creativity can't be far behind.

Please?

Pretty please?

Were-Dork

Aug. 30th, 2007 02:48 am
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Lucian Wags)
Y'all know what an Underworld fan I am. You know all about the time I won the ebay auction for Lucian's actual screen-worn prop jacket, which I fangirled about extensively when it arrived, and which looks pretty cool on me, if I do say so myself.

Today, Sargon gave me a package which contained a Lucian action figure. It's sitting right by my workspace even as we speak. Has the cheesy knife-in-the-sleeve thing and everything. I was ridiculously delighted.

It's pretty awesome being married to your best friend.

It's also pretty cool to be able to squeeze a miniature Michael Sheen between your boobs. Just, y'know, FYI.

I'm a happy werewolf.

One of these days I really must do a post about why I love me some lycanthropes. But, then, what is there to say? What's not to love?

Were-Dork

Aug. 30th, 2007 02:48 am
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Lucian Wags)
Y'all know what an Underworld fan I am. You know all about the time I won the ebay auction for Lucian's actual screen-worn prop jacket, which I fangirled about extensively when it arrived, and which looks pretty cool on me, if I do say so myself.

Today, Sargon gave me a package which contained a Lucian action figure. It's sitting right by my workspace even as we speak. Has the cheesy knife-in-the-sleeve thing and everything. I was ridiculously delighted.

It's pretty awesome being married to your best friend.

It's also pretty cool to be able to squeeze a miniature Michael Sheen between your boobs. Just, y'know, FYI.

I'm a happy werewolf.

One of these days I really must do a post about why I love me some lycanthropes. But, then, what is there to say? What's not to love?

Spam!

Jul. 3rd, 2007 02:35 pm
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Heart)
I woke this morning to not one but two spam emails suggesting that a visit from the "big dick fairy" is forthcoming.

Well, golly. I'm all aflutter. Can't wait.

Yesterday, [livejournal.com profile] sargon999 and I went to the Shōgun Steakhouse for some teppanyaki fun in celebration of our twelfth anniversary. The twelfth anniversary is commemorated by gifts of linens or pearls, or so Hallmark informs me. No mention of big dicks or hibachis.

I was going to say something clever and introspective about being hitched, but I'm afraid there's nothing complicated about it at all. I'm still absurdly happy to be married, and I'm more in love now than ever. While it's been no bed of roses and we've earned our happiness several times over by trudging through some of the shittiest shit ever shat, I still consider myself supremely lucky to have met a good man so very young.

Because I don't have much else to say of substance today, and since I opened with discussion of spam, I'll now open the floor to you lot and let you spam me. Ask me a question or two, something you've always wanted to ask or just some random thing you want to know, and I'll answer it in a forthcoming post. I'll be honest, I promise. (Within reason, naturally; really obnoxious questions may be snarked for the entertainment of all.)

Comments not screened, but if you want to ask a question without everyone else seeing it, comment anonymously. Those are automatically screened so that only I can see them. Just leave me your username so I, at least, know where it came from.

Spam!

Jul. 3rd, 2007 02:35 pm
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Heart)
I woke this morning to not one but two spam emails suggesting that a visit from the "big dick fairy" is forthcoming.

Well, golly. I'm all aflutter. Can't wait.

Yesterday, [livejournal.com profile] sargon999 and I went to the Shōgun Steakhouse for some teppanyaki fun in celebration of our twelfth anniversary. The twelfth anniversary is commemorated by gifts of linens or pearls, or so Hallmark informs me. No mention of big dicks or hibachis.

I was going to say something clever and introspective about being hitched, but I'm afraid there's nothing complicated about it at all. I'm still absurdly happy to be married, and I'm more in love now than ever. While it's been no bed of roses and we've earned our happiness several times over by trudging through some of the shittiest shit ever shat, I still consider myself supremely lucky to have met a good man so very young.

Because I don't have much else to say of substance today, and since I opened with discussion of spam, I'll now open the floor to you lot and let you spam me. Ask me a question or two, something you've always wanted to ask or just some random thing you want to know, and I'll answer it in a forthcoming post. I'll be honest, I promise. (Within reason, naturally; really obnoxious questions may be snarked for the entertainment of all.)

Comments not screened, but if you want to ask a question without everyone else seeing it, comment anonymously. Those are automatically screened so that only I can see them. Just leave me your username so I, at least, know where it came from.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Chainmail)
You will all be delighted to know that, according to an announcement made by my sleeptalking husband:

"Upside-down mushrooms have a much smaller chance of survival."


To which I drowsily replied "Bullshit, Bitch, nobody would eat them."

I leave you guys to fathom that one for yourselves.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Chainmail)
You will all be delighted to know that, according to an announcement made by my sleeptalking husband:

"Upside-down mushrooms have a much smaller chance of survival."


To which I drowsily replied "Bullshit, Bitch, nobody would eat them."

I leave you guys to fathom that one for yourselves.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Dangerous Booty)
Not only has [livejournal.com profile] sargon999 landed a spiff new job, he has an acceptance letter in hand. His story, "Cold Day In Hell" (title subject to change) was accepted for Jeff VanderMeer's forthcoming pirate anthology, Fast Ships, Black Sails.

Even the guidelines were written in pirate. In case that link out-pirates your parrot, the lubber's guidelines are there.

Thought I'd let you know that so you can keep an eye out (or two, if you have two) for it in October, which is its tentative release date.

'Cause, you know, we may not be around to tell you about it. All our good luck has clearly run out.

But hey, gift horse, mouth, don't go there. Happy news at last!
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Dangerous Booty)
Not only has [livejournal.com profile] sargon999 landed a spiff new job, he has an acceptance letter in hand. His story, "Cold Day In Hell" (title subject to change) was accepted for Jeff VanderMeer's forthcoming pirate anthology, Fast Ships, Black Sails.

Even the guidelines were written in pirate. In case that link out-pirates your parrot, the lubber's guidelines are there.

Thought I'd let you know that so you can keep an eye out (or two, if you have two) for it in October, which is its tentative release date.

'Cause, you know, we may not be around to tell you about it. All our good luck has clearly run out.

But hey, gift horse, mouth, don't go there. Happy news at last!

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