naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
She seized, or had a heart attack, or something, and passed away.  It was quick.

It's not exactly surprising.  She was 19, which is a venerable age for any cat, and even more extraordinary when applied to a purring robotic simulacrum.*

We'd been expecting it for a while, but it's still a sad thing.

The boys are all right; Etrigan is a little subdued.  He took it hard when Fish went, and this can't feel good to him either.  I'm holding up okay, Sargon's holding up okay.  It's just . . . a thing.

I owe Sargon a huge debt of thanks for caring for her; I haven't been here much, frankly, and because of the layout of the house and the fact that Etrigan and Smooch are both assholes, she most often wound up in his room to escape the bullying.  I did a kind of crap job keeping up with her, frankly, but he made sure she was comfortable.

She was a good cat.  I don't feel up to talking about how good because I really don't feel like crying, so . . . some other time.

* I mean, does your Roomba run for 19 years on one charge?  No.  No, it does not.
naamah_darling: A very sweet-faced one-eyed Himalayan cat with a crooked jaw. (Smooch)
Love Affair

You can't really see it there, but he had his chin on her shoulder, and a few seconds after this he turned and pressed his face between her shoulders and just sat there, adoring her.

He really really loves her and she wants nothing to do with him. It's pathetic, and I feel awful for both of them, because he's being rebuffed and having his smelly little feelings hurt, and she's missing out on a fantastic snuggle. It is still hilarious.

Anyway. I just wanted to drop a note here and say that I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not taking commissions right now. Several of you have asked, several of you that I adore, but it's not something I can cope with. I think it would be a really bad idea. As I said to another friend this morning, I'd rather "I am crazy" be my reason for declining a commission than my excuse for being late.

I feel like an asshole and an idiot because we really, really need the money, but I know it's the smart thing to do, spoons-wise.

I also wanted to say that I'm sorry I haven't been writing here more. To be honest, when things get persistently sucky and frustrating, there's really no point in writing about it, because it's the same every single day. I'm not in a scary place, not too much, but I'm feeling cramped and trapped and sometimes I'm a bit of a mess about it, and I am having to quell my urge to talk about it too often. There's only so much repetition I can take. My other favorite topics -- outrageous human stupidity, repressive political fuckery, my god some people are assholes -- are all just sore from being kicked so often. Between the laws being passed against women and the ludicrously unconstitutional strip-search ruling by the Supreme Court and the whole Trayvon Martin thing and the FIVE hate-crime shootings here in my hometown -- and three deaths, I'm so beaten down and sad that I find it hard to muster any rage.

There is a body image thing I want to post, but I have to wait until I can cope with the raft of comments, and it's so intensely personal that it's actually uncomfortable to contemplate posting and I just . . . don't know.

I want to write more, do more, interact more. I feel like I only post here when I have something Really Important to say, and that's silly. This is my room, I can do what I like in here. But I still feel this urge to perform, or to post only Long Things of Great Importance. So if there's something you want to ask me, fuck it, ask me. I'd like a reason to post more, stuff that was shorter, or not as serious.
naamah_darling: A sweet-looking long-haired black cat. She is very soft. (Tazendra)
I took some pics of the cats last night. And, behold, I have put Flickr to its intended use once again, instead of using it for boring art crap.

Behold!

Evil Fish 03 Crazy Face

Fish and her crazy face!

Please do click through to see Tazendra being cute. Cut because I care about the internet. )

And, last, a picture that, without my meaning it to, sums up a good chunk of my life:

Most of My Life

You can click through for the mouse-over notes if you like. Two out of three cats, my crafting stuff, my gaming stuff, my comfy blanket. All it's missing is Sargon and Fish.

Anyway, I hope you had a good Halloween. We had a very nice time. And lots of trick-or-treaters! I love that there's one night a year when adorable kids in costumes come to my house and I get to give them candy. Yes, I know, I don't care for the company of children, but when you put them in cute little outfits . . . well . . . how could I not love that?
naamah_darling: A sweet-looking long-haired black cat. She is very soft. (Tazendra)
I took some pics of the cats last night. And, behold, I have put Flickr to its intended use once again, instead of using it for boring art crap.

Behold!

Evil Fish 03 Crazy Face

Fish and her crazy face!

Please do click through to see Tazendra being cute. Cut because I care about the internet. )

And, last, a picture that, without my meaning it to, sums up a good chunk of my life:

Most of My Life

You can click through for the mouse-over notes if you like. Two out of three cats, my crafting stuff, my gaming stuff, my comfy blanket. All it's missing is Sargon and Fish.

Anyway, I hope you had a good Halloween. We had a very nice time. And lots of trick-or-treaters! I love that there's one night a year when adorable kids in costumes come to my house and I get to give them candy. Yes, I know, I don't care for the company of children, but when you put them in cute little outfits . . . well . . . how could I not love that?
naamah_darling: A tiny week-old tabby kitten with her paws raised and her eyes half-closed. (Kittens)
Sif Sleeping 01
She looked just like this when she was a kitten, only much smaller.

Sif is about the cutest cat we have. )

I know, I know, catspam. But I needed some cheering up, and thought you might, too.
naamah_darling: A tiny week-old tabby kitten with her paws raised and her eyes half-closed. (Kittens)
Sif Sleeping 01
She looked just like this when she was a kitten, only much smaller.

Sif is about the cutest cat we have. )

I know, I know, catspam. But I needed some cheering up, and thought you might, too.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (KILL! KILL! KILL!)
I'm having a bad week due to lycanthropy, so I am cheering myself up with silly kitties.

Fishery 01

Fish says hello!

She has the neatest eyes; the pupils always glow super-green.

More kitty pictures below! )

I apologize for the lack of incisive wit and discussions of great import. This week has kicked my ass, so I'm sort of beat. I am trying a new drug in addition to what I'm already taking, so that should help in a few days.

Until then, have a good weekend. Tomorrow is Sargon's birthday so I may not be around much. We're going to do fun stuff and play hooky from life in general.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (KILL! KILL! KILL!)
I'm having a bad week due to lycanthropy, so I am cheering myself up with silly kitties.

Fishery 01

Fish says hello!

She has the neatest eyes; the pupils always glow super-green.

More kitty pictures below! )

I apologize for the lack of incisive wit and discussions of great import. This week has kicked my ass, so I'm sort of beat. I am trying a new drug in addition to what I'm already taking, so that should help in a few days.

Until then, have a good weekend. Tomorrow is Sargon's birthday so I may not be around much. We're going to do fun stuff and play hooky from life in general.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Christmas Spartaaans!)
Since I don't expect to be available between five this afternoon and rather late tomorrow, here:

We Wish You a Hairy Fishmas

I love that Fish has gotten so abundantly rotund. She is enormously fun to snuggle and is, in fact, splorked quite happily against my leg as I write this from bed. Tazendra is in the other room, where she has discovered a magical window that disgorges all-day sunbeams. Sif is, presumably, snoring underneath the loveseat where she has taken to hiding, only making forays out to watch movies with us:

Sif Watching TV 03

Sif Watching TV 04

The cats are, against all expectations, settling in beautifully, and seem very, very happy here. No vengeance pooping, nothing.

Merry Christmas, youall. Travel safe, come home safe, enjoy yourselves, and remember that I adore you.

I will see you on the other side! With more pictures!
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Christmas Spartaaans!)
Since I don't expect to be available between five this afternoon and rather late tomorrow, here:

We Wish You a Hairy Fishmas

I love that Fish has gotten so abundantly rotund. She is enormously fun to snuggle and is, in fact, splorked quite happily against my leg as I write this from bed. Tazendra is in the other room, where she has discovered a magical window that disgorges all-day sunbeams. Sif is, presumably, snoring underneath the loveseat where she has taken to hiding, only making forays out to watch movies with us:

Sif Watching TV 03

Sif Watching TV 04

The cats are, against all expectations, settling in beautifully, and seem very, very happy here. No vengeance pooping, nothing.

Merry Christmas, youall. Travel safe, come home safe, enjoy yourselves, and remember that I adore you.

I will see you on the other side! With more pictures!
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kitty Love!)
Sifmas 01

Merry Sifmas, all!

Click for amusing pictures of the other two, as well as a super-cute cat cuddling picture. )

And one more I simply must inflict on you, just so you have double your daily cute dose. Sargon caught me sleeping in a sunbeam with Fish.

Snugglefish

It does not get much better than that, folks. It just doesn't.

I've done a lot of animal snuggling, lately.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kitty Love!)
Sifmas 01

Merry Sifmas, all!

Click for amusing pictures of the other two, as well as a super-cute cat cuddling picture. )

And one more I simply must inflict on you, just so you have double your daily cute dose. Sargon caught me sleeping in a sunbeam with Fish.

Snugglefish

It does not get much better than that, folks. It just doesn't.

I've done a lot of animal snuggling, lately.
naamah_darling: A gray cat with a white chin squinting as though she smells food. (Fish)
You were all just DYING for some cat pictures.

Well, here you go.

Easter Fish 01

Fish says "Happy belated Easter! Look at my lovely nipples!"


Oh, just you wait. It gets better. )

I promised y'all kitty pictures, and I delivered.

Real update coming soon.

ETA: Oh, hell yeah, I sent these to Stuff On My Cat. Cat's destined for fame, I'm telling you.
naamah_darling: A gray cat with a white chin squinting as though she smells food. (Fish)
You were all just DYING for some cat pictures.

Well, here you go.

Easter Fish 01

Fish says "Happy belated Easter! Look at my lovely nipples!"


Oh, just you wait. It gets better. )

I promised y'all kitty pictures, and I delivered.

Real update coming soon.

ETA: Oh, hell yeah, I sent these to Stuff On My Cat. Cat's destined for fame, I'm telling you.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kiss Kiss!)
I'm going to my nephew's party today. It's his birthday (observed). You know, "nephew" just doesn't seem to cut it once they're grown.

He's eighteen. And before I can say one word about how eighteen isn't grown up, I always have to remember that when I was only about a month older than him, I got married. And I'm still married. To the same guy.

Eighteen is young, yes. Painfully. But I've never held with the folks who automatically treat teenagers like children. Eighteen is functionally an adult.

Oh my God, I feel so . . . so . . . well, I don't feel old, actually. I just catch myself thinking all the things old people say. "Where did all the time go?"

Uh-huh.

Actually, let me rephrase that:

"What the fuck have I been doing with myself?"

There. That's better.

Countdown to Christmas: T minus 9 days.

Sif YAWN

Sifbot say: "There is no cause for alarm."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kiss Kiss!)
I'm going to my nephew's party today. It's his birthday (observed). You know, "nephew" just doesn't seem to cut it once they're grown.

He's eighteen. And before I can say one word about how eighteen isn't grown up, I always have to remember that when I was only about a month older than him, I got married. And I'm still married. To the same guy.

Eighteen is young, yes. Painfully. But I've never held with the folks who automatically treat teenagers like children. Eighteen is functionally an adult.

Oh my God, I feel so . . . so . . . well, I don't feel old, actually. I just catch myself thinking all the things old people say. "Where did all the time go?"

Uh-huh.

Actually, let me rephrase that:

"What the fuck have I been doing with myself?"

There. That's better.

Countdown to Christmas: T minus 9 days.

Sif YAWN

Sifbot say: "There is no cause for alarm."
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kitty Love!)
When you're lying on the bed on your back, staring upside-down at the wall, feeling a little lost, and your cat comes and stands over your head so you're looking at her bottom upside-down, and then she turns her head upside-down and looks back at you through her legs with her tongue sticking out, and squawks, that is love.

There is very little that being squeaked at by an upside-down yellow cat won't cure.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Kitty Love!)
When you're lying on the bed on your back, staring upside-down at the wall, feeling a little lost, and your cat comes and stands over your head so you're looking at her bottom upside-down, and then she turns her head upside-down and looks back at you through her legs with her tongue sticking out, and squawks, that is love.

There is very little that being squeaked at by an upside-down yellow cat won't cure.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Humbug!)
The holiday invasion has begun!

Click for pictures of cats, trees, and surly goblins. )

And, to sum up my feelings about shopping:


You may now return to your regularly-scheduled day.

Special thanks to Sargon's stuntfingers, and to [livejournal.com profile] flameelf for the gryph goodies! I told you I had pictures. I just thought i'd lost them.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Humbug!)
The holiday invasion has begun!

Click for pictures of cats, trees, and surly goblins. )

And, to sum up my feelings about shopping:


You may now return to your regularly-scheduled day.

Special thanks to Sargon's stuntfingers, and to [livejournal.com profile] flameelf for the gryph goodies! I told you I had pictures. I just thought i'd lost them.

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