Here's the all-purpose Weird Things picture dump, containing some pictures of Mathurin eating a dead rat (which you will have to click on to see, so don't worry), and some random Nazi-related strangeness.
Here you go. (It should go without saying, but won't, obviously, that if you are really strongly upset by a rat meeting its death at the claws of a "domesticated" animal, you should click the text links in the latter half with care.)( Nazi Daycare. )
Now. Let me tell you a story about Mathurin.
I'm not sensitive about "cause of death = cat," but you may not want to eat while reading this.
When I was but a young pup, and Mathurin barely more than a journeyman killer, I came home from school one day to see a white plastic bag on my parents' normally immaculate front porch.
"What is this?" I asked.
Mother pointed vengefully at the bag. "That
is what I found on the porch this morning. Look. Go on. Look.
I'm expecting to find . . . I don't know what. My mom has always been a little bazokko if you know what I mean, so there could have been anything in that bag.
What I found was a dead mourning dove, perfect, not a feather out of place. "Oh!" I exclaimed. "It's so beautiful!"
did that. Just look
what he did!"
"But the body is perfect. How do you know it was -- eeeeeUUURRRGH!
Because I'd pulled it out of the bag and turned it over. The upper right side of its head was gone, leaving nothing but the empty skull, which had been licked out clean like an eggshell. I couldn't help it. I began laughing. It was just like him, that nasty little killer.
Well, that became his trademark. He would kill squirrels, rats, birds, mice, rabbits, anything he could get his claws into. And he would eat their brains
. So he became known as Mathurin, Eater of Heads. This is but one of many lame reasons that I love the movie "The Relic." Because clearly the monster, which munches human heads like Tootsie-Pops, is some sort of relative.
Mathurin continued this legacy of decapitation throughout his long stay at my parents' house, but his infamous career was cut short when we brought him home to live out the rest of his ungainly life cradled gently upon our bosoms.
Which brings me to the present.
After we went to see the Narnia movie, we were hungry. Into the kitchen Sargon went, only to hear a horrid sort of gnashing coming from within the curtained breakfast nook. There was, furthermore, a suspicious absence of Mathurin, who usually sharks about our ankles whenever we venture anywhere near the kitchen, screaming at the top of his lungs. This is because he is always hungry. Clearly. Because he will eat anything.
That was when Sargon noticed the bloodstain
And behind the curtain, what should he find? A guilty face
, hunched over the grisly spoils of his crime.
Evidently, one of the rats we breed for snake food (yeah, yeah, I'm a carnivore, my pets are carnivores, deal) escaped, and Matt caught it. And ate half of it, starting with the head. And what should my husband
do but take pictures of the whole thing? Or, rather, the half thing
. Warning -- THAT link leads to a rather grody picture that is probably only funny to me because, well, I'm bent.
After owning 20+ cats in the course of my life, I tend to be far more pleased than less when they kill something, and frankly, it amuses the shit out of me when they betray themselves for the soulless little eaters of flesh that they are.
So. That's the weirdness.
Oh, yeah. For those of you who always wanted to see the Men-Men bag? There's a picture here
I now go back to writing silly porn.