naamah_darling: A very sweet-faced one-eyed Himalayan cat with a crooked jaw. (Smooch)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
Love Affair

You can't really see it there, but he had his chin on her shoulder, and a few seconds after this he turned and pressed his face between her shoulders and just sat there, adoring her.

He really really loves her and she wants nothing to do with him. It's pathetic, and I feel awful for both of them, because he's being rebuffed and having his smelly little feelings hurt, and she's missing out on a fantastic snuggle. It is still hilarious.

Anyway. I just wanted to drop a note here and say that I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not taking commissions right now. Several of you have asked, several of you that I adore, but it's not something I can cope with. I think it would be a really bad idea. As I said to another friend this morning, I'd rather "I am crazy" be my reason for declining a commission than my excuse for being late.

I feel like an asshole and an idiot because we really, really need the money, but I know it's the smart thing to do, spoons-wise.

I also wanted to say that I'm sorry I haven't been writing here more. To be honest, when things get persistently sucky and frustrating, there's really no point in writing about it, because it's the same every single day. I'm not in a scary place, not too much, but I'm feeling cramped and trapped and sometimes I'm a bit of a mess about it, and I am having to quell my urge to talk about it too often. There's only so much repetition I can take. My other favorite topics -- outrageous human stupidity, repressive political fuckery, my god some people are assholes -- are all just sore from being kicked so often. Between the laws being passed against women and the ludicrously unconstitutional strip-search ruling by the Supreme Court and the whole Trayvon Martin thing and the FIVE hate-crime shootings here in my hometown -- and three deaths, I'm so beaten down and sad that I find it hard to muster any rage.

There is a body image thing I want to post, but I have to wait until I can cope with the raft of comments, and it's so intensely personal that it's actually uncomfortable to contemplate posting and I just . . . don't know.

I want to write more, do more, interact more. I feel like I only post here when I have something Really Important to say, and that's silly. This is my room, I can do what I like in here. But I still feel this urge to perform, or to post only Long Things of Great Importance. So if there's something you want to ask me, fuck it, ask me. I'd like a reason to post more, stuff that was shorter, or not as serious.
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naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
naamah_darling

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