naamah_darling: Cartoony picture of a black panther with curved horns and a red ball in his mouth. He wants to play. (Jandar Sad)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
Welp, it finally happened.

Etrigan's ass-funk.  On my face.

We were playing fetch while I dried off from the shower.  I threw the mouse, he lost it, I carried him over to the couch to show him it was on the other side, VERY GENTLY pushed him off the couch toward it, and got a broadside across the starboard bow.

I didn't realize where it was coming from at first, and thought it was my shirt, but no, MY FACE.  It'd been a month or so since the last time, so it was kind of inevitable. Usually he rips one off about every two weeks, but I've been so, so careful about not kicking him in the ass or picking him up wrong.  This is NOT EASY.  He darts in front of us and will STOP, so he sometimes gets kicked in the ass entirely by accident, and this has caused at least one other eruption.  Also, he can't be picked up around the chest, since it gives him an asthma attack, so he has to be picked up braced behind his thighs, or in a weird modified anvil-carry, both of which put pressure on his ass.

So the shirt went into the laundry and I got a Silkwood shower.  Vinegar takes that shit right off.  Smelly vinegar.  On my face.  Cat ass with vinaigrette, salad lightly tossed.  But my hair and face are satiny soft on that side, so, silver linings?

This has happened many times before.  He's butt-stunk on lots of things.  My pillow.  The wall behind my bed.  Two shirts.  My leg.  My arm, at least three times.  Sargon's arm, I think.  Sargon's sheets, twice.  Last time it was in my hair.  Which was actually worse -- it's harder to get out of hair.

Understand, I can't be even the slightest bit angry with him.

First, it's absolutely not his fault.  The times he's NOTICED he's done it, he's been as shocked and dismayed as anyone.

Second, he's a very sweet cat who has helped me a lot through this last sucky phase, and I'm grateful and lucky to have him, ass-funk and all.

Third, I would many, many times over rather he butt-stink on ME than on something I cannot easily clean, like the couch.

Fourth, there are more disgusting things.  Cat musk may smell like someone shit in a rotting fox, but it's not actually waste.  Just concentrated musk.  I realize the difference may appear academic to you, but it bothers me way less.

HOWEVER. If I can ever get my schedule worked around so that I can get him in to see the vet, he's going to the vet ASAP, where I will have Anal Gland Girl show me how to express them myself, and we will see if we can keep this from happening again.  Can't we all just get along?

At least I was not this person.  They had their mouth open and everything.

And, just FYI, there is legit nothing wrong with him at all in that area that anyone has ever been able to find.  I will ask again, but I truly believe he just has really active anal glands, and it's actually a good thing (for him) that they self-express instead of getting impacted, which could easily happen.  I just don't want to be caught in the line of fire.

Note to friends: he should be perfectly safe to handle for at least a week.  He's shot his load.  So don't worry about petting him next time you see him.

Date: 2013-11-06 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Etrigan's astral twin, Dione, always had the same thing, too. It just seemed to be "a thing" and wasn't down to anything medically wrong, other than perhaps she wasn't cleaning as well as she might have been. But she might have been, too--she was also prone to chin acne, too, so I think her immune system just couldn't get the gunk out of pores/anal sacs, etc. efficiently enough. (I can sympathise; I have the same problem with acne and my skin. My skin can't push out or protect me from anything, so I'm always dealing with clogged pores, cystic acne, etc.)

It's a dirty job, but Mom's gotta do it... *snork*

Grey :)

Date: 2013-11-06 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Argh! Ebony is twitchy about this too. The other cats? Never. Not at the vets, nothin'. Ebony, you pick her up wrong, and boom. The past two times it's been up by my pillow, and I haven't even touched her, just scootched the blankets a little, with no reaction on her part until she smells it and comes over to lick it up. :P I really didn't want to remake the bed as I was trying to get into to sleep, nor take the comforter to the laundromat.

Date: 2013-11-06 05:29 pm (UTC)
ashbet: (XsForEyes)
From: [personal profile] ashbet
D: D: D:

I'm glad the vinegar didn't tear up your skin like that poor Craigslist poster -- but, OMG. ETRIGAN. NOT COOL, LITTLE DUDE!! (It's an accident, but if you're PRONE to cat-ass-trophe, one would think that one would point one's ass away from one's loved ones . . . butt hat's assuming that one is not a cat.)


So sorry that happened to you. So, SO sorry.

I hope that Anal Gland Girl can help you!!


Date: 2013-11-06 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

It is amazing how I have never had to experience expressed anal glands from any of my cats yet. And Jupiter has been middening on the living room carpet, even.

Date: 2013-11-06 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Would pointing his ass end at a burglar be considered ass-ault with a deadly weapon?

Date: 2013-11-06 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Most likely! I've considered his use as a potential chemical deterrent, but decided that he's most likely too stupid and good-for-nothing to actually function in that cap-ASS-ity when required.

Date: 2013-11-06 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yet another reason our boys MUST be related.

Date: 2013-11-06 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
PS, QuikClean waterless shampoo + baby wipes.

Date: 2013-11-07 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's what we use on Olive after we help her go, and it works awesome wonders when Nox stanks himself.

Date: 2013-11-07 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm really glad that when I came over and he jumped up into and out of my lap, this didn't happen to me. *LOL*

I laughed a few times while reading this. I hope you don't mind. Heh. I've been on an emotional roller coaster, and this brought me laughs.

BTW, are you up for trying to make any plans a month or two in advance yet? If not, I can wait, no worries. :) I just figured I'd check in to a gauge about where you're at mentally. I was just wondering if you may be free at all next month or January to hang out again.

Haha, Anal Gland Girl. *LOL*

Date: 2013-11-07 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Let's do January!

Date: 2013-11-07 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Awesoooooome!! :D I'll be coming back to Oklahoma from Texas on Jan 1st or 2nd, so I'll be free between January 3-12. I know it's a small window, but I figured I'd just let you know now. Heh. :)

Date: 2013-11-07 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cool! IDK what our daily schedule is going to look like at that point, so sometime in there, not on Tuesday or Wednesday. We'll have to get closer to the date to be sure. SO PING ME because I still think it's 2011.

Date: 2013-11-07 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Haha! Okay, I will! :)

Date: 2013-11-07 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh my Zod, Silkwood shower indeed! I remember that scene!

Date: 2013-11-08 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
XD Oh man. Dr. H got it in the mouth once. Being a wag he said it tasted like Chinese...

You should be able to express them at home pretty easily, externally, with something - I use cotton batting at work, but if you prefer TP that would be fine - in the hand doing the expressing to catch the effluvia. And then some nice anti-smelly to wipe with; we actually use a mild ear flush, but your Anal Gland Girl can tell you what they use and/or what you can use.

Date: 2013-11-23 04:33 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
The times he's NOTICED he's done it, he's been as shocked and dismayed as anyone.

Wait. You have a cat that actually deigns to notice when he's stunk up the place? And he actually feels bad about doing it?

I think our feline overlords may have produced a highly defective model.

Date: 2013-11-23 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
He's defective in every other way, too, except for being mind-numbingly attractive in a "would do you if I were a cat and you still had your balls" sort of way.


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