naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-10-16 09:48 pm

Further Smooch Updates!

Most of my updating has been happening on Tumblr.  Here's the latest.

He's doing well.  He likes the new food, he's acting totally normal.

We got the imaging I wanted to get done.  The vet found some bladder stones, which is worrisome, so we'll be keeping an eye on that.  He also found some sort of soft mass north of his kidneys, which the radiologist said not to worry about. I'll still be discussing that with him when we go back in but for now "not a tumor, harmless" is good enough for me.  Plus it lets me make Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes.

Mostly what we found in imaging was poop and farts.

He's digesting pretty slowly, which is not yet concerning, but is worthy of note.

His kidneys look good.  (See the :) above!)  His heart is beautiful.  Look at it in there, so pretty.  Cat hearts are so small on X-rays but as cat lovers know, they are actually quite large.  Just . . . like . . . Smooch's isn't, really.  He's kind of a tool.

I'm worried about the bladder stones, but the vet said they may be cystic, meaning they're maybe enclosed and not loose.  So that's . . . less bad.  Although it could get bad very quickly.  I don't know, I'm really worried about it but he said surgery wasn't something he'd recommend right away.  I'll address it with him again later, get a price quote for removal surgery, and maybe have more imaging done to see if they are embedded in the bladder wall or are loose.  And the food he is on can also help dissolve stones, so there's that.

I really love Smooch's vet.  He's a sweet guy, and good with cats.  Actually, everyone at that Banfield is great.  They've made this so easy to handle.


The fundraiser is only $25 from its second goal, and I expect it to tip over at any moment.  I'll probably leave it up in case anyone wants to keep donating, because frankly Raleigh needs to see an eye specialist for a recurring infection and between this new kidney thing and his perpetual eye issues Smooch is moderately high-maintenance at this point.  All the proceeds are going from Paypal to my bank and then straight into an envelope in the form of cash, where I won't touch it for any reason besides vet care.  (I always pay with plastic.)

You can see more updates at the fundraiser homepage.

Thank you, everyone, for boosting, for donating, for offering advice and kind words.  I have a lot of hope he will be with us for a good long time to come.  My stinky yeti boy.  My garbage boy stink man.  My stinky pinky.  My one and only Smooch.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-09-29 03:56 am



I have set up a YouCaring for Smooch's medical expenses.

If you could spread this around on whatever social media outlets you possess, that would be great.

For those new to the show, Smooch is my 7-year-old Himalayan.  He was recently diagnosed with kidney disease.  I'm trying to get together a little cushion so that we will be able to cover his expenses over the next six months to a year of treatment, which will hopefully enable us to stay on top of his condition.  The vet has no idea how long we have, but I'm hoping for more than that.  Your help will make that a lot more possible.

Some facts about Smooch:

He was born with a funny, squished-in face and has only one eye and a twisted little mouth.  He's already had several teeth removed to keep him from biting through the roof of his own mouth.  This makes him very funny-looking, but also very unique.  I find his silly little face delightful.

He also has ocular herpes, which will probably eventually cause him to lose what is left of his vision.  Rough, dude.

He has behavior issues which we are working on with medication, supplements, and behavioral techniques.  The vet and I believe these stem from an anxiety disorder.  Funnily enough, I have an anxiety disorder too.  A lot of his behavior looks very familiar to me.  I understand him very, very well.

He makes noises like a mudcrab.  He eats off a fork like a baby.  He pees on himself every time he's sedated.  He hates fish-flavored anything.  He LOVES to have his armpits scritched.  He's very smelly.  He loves to cuddle at night and in the mornings, settling between my knees while I read or color to unwind.  He's not a good cat, he's a jerk and a bully, but he is very dear to me, and his life is precious.  I have promised him that I will be with him til the end of the line.

I'm not asking for a whole lot, just enough to build up a cushion so I can afford food and tests and so forth.  Any help, even five or ten bucks, would make a big difference.

Thank you all so much.

Boost this post on Tumblr.

Boost this post on Facebook.

naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-09-22 10:54 pm

Smooch Update AGAIN

Talked to the vet again, at much greater length, and I have my feet under me, I think.

Here's what we are looking at:

$120 for the next round of bloodwork, either in 12 months or if he starts declining again, whichever comes first.
$100 for in-office euthanasia if necessary (I always want to have this amount on hand, even if he seems totally okay)
$60 for tending to his body respectfully.
$120 for what I think should be 3 months' worth of dry AND wet foods, and kidney-safe treats. (I'm having trouble with this math, since I don't know exactly how many servings are in this bag, or how much he will eat.)
$70 for his regular anxiety meds and lysine treats.

= $470 as a cushion against the most likely expenses over the next year or so, plus the non-negotiable meds and food, and the mercy fund in case he needs to be put to sleep.

$230 for an "optional" X-ray, which I very much want to get so we can check for other things like tumors. I REALLY want this quite badly, but it IS optional.
$120 for an extra round of bloodwork,
$50 for urinalysis.
$110 for treatments for his eye herpes.  Ew.
$120 for additional supplements and treats that will help his anxiety and help prevent viral outbreaks

= $630 extra, for stuff that would be good or cool to have.

TOTAL, that would be $1,100.

That is doable with a head start and help from y'all.

If you are comfortable donating a few bucks outright, I take paypal at

If you want something concrete, I will be posting some art stuff, listing some ponies on eBay, and maybe taking some small art commissions. I will try to get that stuff up on Monday, as well as bumping this post.

I am very optimistic after my talk with our vet today. I have a lot of hope, and overall this isn't looking too bad right now. I just want to build up a cushion so that we can keep him safe.

Thank you all for your kind words of support, which have been worth my stupid cat's weight in gold. It's good to see that there's hope. <3

Thank you for having my back, and his.

Here he is being stinky and beautiful:

Smooch is so pretty!

He says thank you.  <3
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-09-21 11:39 pm

Smooch update.

So the verdict is stage 3 kidney disease, and it is fatal.

We have time yet, though.  We'll do dietary management as long as we can.  But because I don't know how long we have, I am having to make preparations for sooner rather than later.  Because I can't afford to be caught flat-footed.

I am going to ask some questions, get a price for some things I know will be necessary, and then I am going to throw a number out there and ask y'all to help me hit it so we can be sure to have his needs covered for the next little while, including one more round of bloodwork for a re-check in six months, and, unfortunately, for the cost of euthanasia + taking care of the body.  I'm working on getting figures for that.  I'll know more tomorrow and should have a more complete forecast by Monday.

I knew going in I probably wouldn't have him for that long.  I'm okay.  It hurts, but I can do this.  I can't fix him, but I can be with him til the end of the line.  I just want to make sure he's taken care of.

I'm hurting just as bad for my best friend, who on the same day I heard about Smooch, learned that her Puck, my favorite dog in the world, has terminal cancer and has around a month.  I can't fix him either.

We are all so fucking helpless.  Life is so beautiful, I love it, but it is also completely heartless, and while I will never hesitate to make this bargain again and again, loving our pets means losing them.  They are our little outboard hearts, and that makes them so precious and us so vulnerable.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-09-13 11:20 pm

Smooch news.

Smooch got some weird bloodwork back yesterday, and we are waiting on new bloodwork to learn more.  idney disease, hyperthyroid disease, and cancer were all mentioned.  They're testing thyroid and kidney stuff now.   I should have the results early next week.  But, basically, it's pretty likely to be bad news.

I mention this because the step after this is likely to be imaging.  An x-ray will be $230, and I will need to ask for help with part of that, as well as for ongoing treatment if it's necessary/possible, or, god forbid, euthanasia.  Care Credit is something I will not hesitate to deploy, but I would prefer to pay for as much of it up front as possible, to minimize future monthly payments.  So if y'all could have my back on that when the time comes, I would be very grateful.

He has lost 1.8 pounds in the last year or so, most of it in the last couple of months, and if this weird bloodwork had cropped up without that, I wouldn't be as worried as I am.  But with cats, weight loss on this scale is associated with very poor outcomes, so I am not tremendously optimistic.  To put it in perspective, 1.8 pounds is the same as if I lost 40 pounds, proportionally.  That's frightening.  He was a cinderblock of a cat, built thick and powerful, capable of physically pushing me backwards when braced against something, and now he feels a little below merely average, and has lost a lot of strength.

This is somewhat tempered by the fact that I knew going in that he would probably live a shorter life since whatever inbreeding or genetic abnormalities led to his messed-up face are hardly likely to have stopped there, and I honestly only really expected him to live about 10 years.  I was willing to take that hit that going in, and I am not sorry nor would I ever change my mind.

It helps that he doesn't appear to be feeling bad.  It makes it easier not to worry, moment to moment.

So for now it's wait, and worry.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2017-03-06 02:26 am

Kitty Wish List

 I have created a kitty wish list on Amazon.
Smooch's eye issues and his behavior issues are treatable, but the tools that make it a lot easier do cost money, and my Patreon is flagging -- I'm down about $80 from where I was at my best.  Normally it wouldn't be so bad, but we've had to pay off some medical bills, and it's hitting us hard.
So if you would like to do a good thing and help Smooch (and the other goblins) out,  here's the link again.

Right now the Feliway stuff and the Lysine treats and paste are the most important.  

The Feliway really helps reduce his anxiety and resulting aggression.  There's two sizes of refill there, for two price points.

I haven't been able to afford to get him started on the lysine treats that will help his eye issues.  The powder stuff that goes into wet food is too hard for him to eat, I can't get enough into him.

We always, alllllways need litter.

There's also fun treats and some more expensive toys on there.  The Ripple Rug looks AMAZING.

I hate having to do this, but it's for my stupid losers, and I love them so much.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2015-10-19 07:17 pm

Sif is gone.

She seized, or had a heart attack, or something, and passed away.  It was quick.

It's not exactly surprising.  She was 19, which is a venerable age for any cat, and even more extraordinary when applied to a purring robotic simulacrum.*

We'd been expecting it for a while, but it's still a sad thing.

The boys are all right; Etrigan is a little subdued.  He took it hard when Fish went, and this can't feel good to him either.  I'm holding up okay, Sargon's holding up okay.  It's just . . . a thing.

I owe Sargon a huge debt of thanks for caring for her; I haven't been here much, frankly, and because of the layout of the house and the fact that Etrigan and Smooch are both assholes, she most often wound up in his room to escape the bullying.  I did a kind of crap job keeping up with her, frankly, but he made sure she was comfortable.

She was a good cat.  I don't feel up to talking about how good because I really don't feel like crying, so . . . some other time.

* I mean, does your Roomba run for 19 years on one charge?  No.  No, it does not.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2014-11-17 11:22 pm


Poor guy had a rough day.

I took him to the vet because he has another eye infection.  They checked his eye for ulcers, seems clear, though it's still possible he has feline ocular herpes that acts up occasionally and causes grossness.  That sucks, but isn't scary.  So we medicate and be patient and see how he does.

Thank you to everyone who donated recently to help with his vet bills.  I turned down a couple of things that didn't seem likely to help much, but was still able to get what needed to be done done and catch both boys up on their Banfield plans.

I need to buy some Advantage -- there might have been flea dirt on him, which given the number of strays around my girlfriend's place isn't surprising -- but that will have to wait for next month.  (Our last vet, the really good one, gave us the tip to get the stuff for big dogs, making sure it's the one same ingredient with none of the extra tick stuff, and then splitting it with a syringe for multiple cats.  So that saves money and works a treat.)

Thank you.  I could have done this, but it would have left me with literally nothing, and I wasn't not going to do it, since it's been apparent that it's uncomfortable for him.  I love my guy.  He's frustrating and aggravating and sometimes I just wish he'd be less needy, but he's a sweet boy, and he loves me, and I want to try to be what he needs me to be.

I'm not feeling great on the cat care front, lately.  I've been absent and scattered and cranky and sometimes in pain and it just . . . I haven't been giving him attention the way I should be.

I hate the way that this bullshit mental illness and the associated poverty and stress fucks up literally every part of my life.  Sigh.

Y'all are lovely, though.

Patreon coming soon, I hope, but in the meantime, The Graveyard of Empires is a good way to support us.  We're at 35% and that's doing pretty good!  I'd like to top 40% or even 50% by the end of this week.

naamah_darling: Picture of a treasure chest with a skull and crossbones on top. My art! (Artistic)
2014-03-21 06:29 pm

Update of Updateiness

Wow, so. I had a whole post written, and it got et. We made goal on The Shadow Princess, which is awesome. I didn't think we would make it this time, and we did, and I want to thank everyone who donated or signal-boosted or otherwise helped out with good vibes/goat sacrifices/etc. Thank you.

Smooch has been to the vet having Grand Adventures. First, to get an opinion on his stinky breath and possible tooth infection, then to get his teeth cleaned. No tooth infection, just a nasty eyesocket. So he's good. Although he was really stoned when we brought him home, and was tiptoe-tail-rubbing all over everything, looking just as pleased as can be to be home. He didn't care about his brother. Just the vacuum cleaner, wall, couch, table, chairs, etc. Then he peed on himself and slept for like twelve hours off and on.

It was . . . well, you know, it seemed to be a really good day for him, based on his rolling around and purring and hugging me every chance he got, but I had less fun. I had to wash pee off my already smelly cat, and I slept badly because I was worried about him being away from home. Anyway, he's on a Banfield plan now and has free office visits. I've already saved a shitton of money, since the tooth cleaning and a bunch of his bloodwork is free on the plan.

I went to the vet, too, for reasons about which the less said, the better, and while it's not serious, it's still stressing me out and making me really sad to have to deal with. So I appreciate y'all's forbearance while I try to deal with this. I'm not going to be tremendously accessible. Between this and the general depression-fueled inactivity, I've been accomplishing very little that could be called "constructive."

The best news I have besides making goal is that I've managed to clean my room pretty thoroughly, so for the first time since I moved in, it's not embarrassing. I'm rather pleased with myself for that.
naamah_darling: Really rough-looking long-haired guy with the hilt of a sword sticking up over his shoulder.  Distressingly frank stare. (The Baron)
2014-01-03 05:37 am

Another new year.

I don't make resolutions. I don't even really consider it an important occasion, except most everyone else does, so that naturally causes me to stop and reflect on how things have gone for me.

I accomplished woefully little this year. I have nothing but the mental illness and my own lack of resilience to blame. I've just been so . . . flat. I can keep myself on a more or less stable emotional keel, but that eats up any productivity I might otherwise have. I spend more time on obligations than personal projects, but lacking those obligations I might do nothing, so who can say?

Last year was shitty in many ways, really shitty, but it also contained some unexpectedly wonderful stuff, and my life now is most assuredly better than it was in January of last year. I'm still not feeling optimistic, but perhaps that will come in time.

I just want to be able to . . . to do things again. To have the energy, mental and physical, to work at things. I'm bored so much of the time, and, being an introvert, there's only so much that other people can help. And, lately, I've spent a lot of time in low-level pain from minor health problems I really don't want to discuss.

But to focus on the positive, I made three really cool things in 2013: the Barsoomian Chess Set, which was featured on Propnomicon; MLP custom "Serenity"; and the steampunk pirate ponies Phantom and Ember Blacklock

I launched Silver Into Steel, the srs blog. Admittedly seldom-updated, but I'm going to work on that, too.

And, the huge one: I was approved for disability. My government is still shitty and thinks that I should be able to live on what doesn't even cover my house payment, but at least I have health coverage via Medicaid now.

Christmas was lovely. I'll post more about that later.

I've been playing Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, and having enormous fun pirating everything in sight. It's still not Ezio, and I've just had to resign myself to the fact that none of the other games will match that arc. That storyline started out so perfectly, establishing this woman-chasing fist-fighting ne'er-do-well and his loving family and then ripping all of it to miserable shreds, and that propelled me through three games. After that first part of ACII, you fucking hate the Templars. And you actually got to see the character grow and change. Become more competent. More responsible. And finally, much wiser. He was an excellent character.

Edward from AC IV is all right -- he looks sort of like the bastard pirate lovechild of Charlie Hunnam and Chris Hemsworth, he has tattoos and a smart mouth -- but I'm a quarter of the way in and there's no emotional core to the game so far, and that's hurting it. They're trying to lean on the "FREEDOM" angle -- and I really wish they would do more with Adéwalé, because he is really cool and I love that they write him with this subtle tolerant contempt for white people's shit -- but it's not coming together for me. It's still a gorgeous game, and I like it very much, even if the jaguars are fucking murderous little shits.

In other news, I started playing the Baron again last week, and it's been fantastic having him around again. He still makes obscenely good die rolls, and he now has an apprentice that the dice apparently like just as much as him. She's tiny and cute and he just wants to play hide and sneak with her all day. He finds her utterly delightful, and it's like watching a big old wolf play with a kitten. Apparently he was missing that, and didn't know it. Nearly all the other women in his life are sharp or hard or prickly or just flatly practical and no-bullshit -- or they're horses -- and he loves those things about them . . . those are not flaws. The one girl who isn't like that -- his mistress -- is extremely sweet, and he loves her to pieces, but she has no sharp edges. She's the gentlest creature in his life, and he needs that so very badly, but . . . he also needed someone with a bit of both, I think. Someone with whom he shares the same background of murderstab training. Someone he can feel protective of for legitimate reasons, but who really doesn't need much protecting. Someone crap at hiding her feelings, because he has a terrible time dealing with it when people do that.

Eh. Enough about people you've never met.

In other news, I have found the softest thing in the house and it is the fur at the tenderest part of Etrigan's throat, way back under his chin. It's so soft I can barely feel it, like mole fur or bat fur. He has become an excellent cuddler. Not an in-the-lap cuddler, a pick-up-and-snuggle cuddler, not like Tazendra, but a lying-beside sleepytimes cuddler. He lays where Tazendra used to and lets me curl my arms around him -- he is so much bigger, nearly twice as big -- and lays where he can feel my breath on his face, which means his face is usually adorably close to mine so I can just look at him. I can tell he misses Fish, so sometimes I stick my finger in his ear and rub it around -- she used to groom his ears and he loved that, but I'm not going to lick him anywhere, thanks. He loves it. He doesn't even flick his ear, he just purrs harder and rolls so I can do the other one. Today he snuggled up with me and put the top of his flat, empty little head against my mouth so I could just kiss and kiss him without stopping. Behavior-wise he is barely a cat at all, and is frequently so annoying it boggles the mind. And yet I love him like a very stupid but enthusiastically cheerful little brother.

I love Smooch, too, but he's a tough nut to crack. We have a respectful cat/human relationship based on me fulfilling his every desire and him being very grateful for my services, but mostly ignoring my needs. He's tender, emotionally, rebuffs easily, stews and sulks sometimes. He has moods, like weather. Etrigan's emotional core is rubber or Teflon. Nothing gets him down for long. They are very different. I love them both. Etrigan is turning out to be the really comforting one, for all that he's a fucking asshole most of the time.

I need to go to sleep. I hope the next year is less painful than this one for everybody. I hope you find and do and make and learn fun and interesting new things. I hope things improve. For all of us. I really do.
naamah_darling: A very sweet-faced one-eyed Himalayan cat with a crooked jaw. (Cats)
2013-12-25 12:22 am

Your Christmas cat pic.

Hello, Etrigan! Merry Christma--

the actual Satan

naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2013-12-06 05:25 am

Cats are fuzzy little jerks.

Now that Fish is gone, Etrigan has been coming to sleep with me every night the door is open.  He will come in a few hours before I get up and lay up by my head with his head bonked against mine or his chin resting on my head/face/neck, and often with one paw thrown over me, and he will sack right out.  I've NEVER had a cat want to be so literally up in my face while sleeping.  Even Tazendra saw me off to sleep, then went to sleep somewhere else, by herself.  She was putting me to bed, not sleeping.

The first couple of nights he was really, really pathetic about it and constantly woke me up wanting pets.  I wasn't going to throw him out.  What am I, inhuman?  I just told him it was okay and I was here and he was safe, and I guess he decided that sleeping with me is kind of nice.

He's pretty bad at it still -- he stomps on my face sometimes and hasn't learned not to shake the bed when he goes to scratch or chew himself -- so it's a little disruptive, but what it lacks in restfulness it makes up for in feeling loved and needed, and being able to comfort something small and essentially helpless.  He doesn't seem sad anymore, but he has been a lot cuddlier, and solicits me for snuggles several times a day, which he did not used to do.

I don't have a recent picture of him on this computer.  Here is a picture of him in spirit:

He's basically been a giant furry suckup.  I don't understand.  He was not supposed to be MY CAT.  He was Sargon's.

But, then, Sargon doesn't put up with being bothered in his sleep.  I evidently do.  (Provided it's a cat.  Humans get kicked and bitten.)

I think Etrigan just knows a couple of suckers when he sees them.

Annnd here he comes right now, probably wanting to ram his head into mine or bite me on the tit or put his butt in my face.  But he'll purr while he does it, so it's okay, I guess.

naamah_darling: The Punisher skull with a red ribbon barrette. (Punisher Ribbon)
2013-11-27 12:39 am

Without Fish

Some of you may have seen Sargon's post; Fish died late Monday night or early Tuesday.

We don't know why. Sargon went into his room and found her lying on his coat, like always, only she wasn't asleep.

It appears she went fast and painless, with no signs of distress. She'd been doing everything normally in the days before, and not acting sick or in pain. We're sure she was never in any discomfort.

She was young, only about nine years old. Obviously this came as a total surprise.

Sunfish 04

We're holding up okay. I feel aimless and lonely and sad, and kind of like I've been taken apart and re-stuffed with dirty rat bedding and sand, and all the other things you feel after a truly unexpected loss. Sargon seems to be feeling much the same. But we're coping.

Fish was, objectively, an awful cat. She bit us and knocked things over and crapped under Sargon's desk and sometimes peed on the floor and screamed like a buggered banshee if one of the other cats so much as poked her. She farted like a leaky zeppelin, would never stop sharpening her claws on the area rug, whined incessantly if you tried to brush her, and had all the grace of a furry eggplant. Of course, we loved her dearly.

We called her Fish because "she's grey on top, white on the bottom, small, stinky, and likes to nibble." She was Fishery-Dishery, daFeesh, Chub, Chub-Rub, Chubbs, Chunky Monkey, Fatass, and Thunderoceros (or Thunderosaurus, the spelling was never clear). The only cat I have ever had that I could hear coming into the room simply because she made the floorboards creak. Probably other nicknames, too, once I start remembering them all.

She was incredibly soft, plump, and pleasing, even if you could only enjoy it for a few seconds before she got overstimulated and bit the ever-loving crap right out of you. And she was a gorgeous cat. She had green-yellow eyes and a little of that double-thick coat over her shoulders that Russian Blues get. She had tiny feet and the shortest tail of any cat I ever had except Twindle, who lost hers in a battle with space Mongols or something. And she had the longest whiskers of any cat I ever knew.

She was a good auntie to the kittens, when we had them. She was a pretty rotten friend to Etrigan, but she still washed his ears, and he genuinely didn't seem to care about being bitten as long as he could nuzzle her fat belly.

She was not my cat, she was Sargon's cat. She slept with him and went to him for affection and pestered and farted on him, mostly, if she was going to do it to anyone. I'm really, really sorry he's lost her.

The other cats were called in and shown. Smooch and Sif know, but are just trucking along like normal. Etrigan was upset, though. He usually looks like he doesn't understand – I've met rubber bands smarter than this cat – but this was a different kind of doesn't understand. He looked hurt, and scared, and haunted. He fell asleep in my arms while we went to bed last night, and slept with me all night, right up against me or on my legs, something he has never before done. He was really upset this morning, just hunching into himself and in general acting like he was really cold, which is cat for "in pain," whether emotional or physical. We had company today, and he was played with and had some treats, and he's feeling so much better. I finally got a purr out of him around five. He has an Etch-A-Sketch for a brain, which works mostly in his favor. Nothing troubles him for long. We should all be so lucky.

I've been scarce lately anyway, so I don't know that this will affect things more than they have already been affected, but . . . I don't know that it won't.

Because I don't want to end on a down note, I will simply say that Fish made the best crazy faces I have ever seen on a cat. This was my favorite, from the day she caught her one and only mouse.

Fish Hunter 05

I . . . I actually think that picture sums her up pretty well, if you imagine cat farts and then sudden shrieking.

I will miss her.

Comment amnesty is declared: I will be reading, but maybe not replying. I'm very tired. A certain black cat kept waking me up so I got very little sleep!

Have a safe holiday weekend, if this is a holiday weekend for you. Love your pets and your people.
naamah_darling: Cartoony picture of a black panther with curved horns and a red ball in his mouth. He wants to play. (Jandar Sad)
2013-11-06 05:56 am

I'll make the "cat-ass-trophe" joke so you don't have to.

Welp, it finally happened.

Etrigan's ass-funk.  On my face.

We were playing fetch while I dried off from the shower.  I threw the mouse, he lost it, I carried him over to the couch to show him it was on the other side, VERY GENTLY pushed him off the couch toward it, and got a broadside across the starboard bow.

I didn't realize where it was coming from at first, and thought it was my shirt, but no, MY FACE.  It'd been a month or so since the last time, so it was kind of inevitable. Usually he rips one off about every two weeks, but I've been so, so careful about not kicking him in the ass or picking him up wrong.  This is NOT EASY.  He darts in front of us and will STOP, so he sometimes gets kicked in the ass entirely by accident, and this has caused at least one other eruption.  Also, he can't be picked up around the chest, since it gives him an asthma attack, so he has to be picked up braced behind his thighs, or in a weird modified anvil-carry, both of which put pressure on his ass.

So the shirt went into the laundry and I got a Silkwood shower.  Vinegar takes that shit right off.  Smelly vinegar.  On my face.  Cat ass with vinaigrette, salad lightly tossed.  But my hair and face are satiny soft on that side, so, silver linings?

This has happened many times before.  He's butt-stunk on lots of things.  My pillow.  The wall behind my bed.  Two shirts.  My leg.  My arm, at least three times.  Sargon's arm, I think.  Sargon's sheets, twice.  Last time it was in my hair.  Which was actually worse -- it's harder to get out of hair.

Understand, I can't be even the slightest bit angry with him.

First, it's absolutely not his fault.  The times he's NOTICED he's done it, he's been as shocked and dismayed as anyone.

Second, he's a very sweet cat who has helped me a lot through this last sucky phase, and I'm grateful and lucky to have him, ass-funk and all.

Third, I would many, many times over rather he butt-stink on ME than on something I cannot easily clean, like the couch.

Fourth, there are more disgusting things.  Cat musk may smell like someone shit in a rotting fox, but it's not actually waste.  Just concentrated musk.  I realize the difference may appear academic to you, but it bothers me way less.

HOWEVER. If I can ever get my schedule worked around so that I can get him in to see the vet, he's going to the vet ASAP, where I will have Anal Gland Girl show me how to express them myself, and we will see if we can keep this from happening again.  Can't we all just get along?

At least I was not this person.  They had their mouth open and everything.

And, just FYI, there is legit nothing wrong with him at all in that area that anyone has ever been able to find.  I will ask again, but I truly believe he just has really active anal glands, and it's actually a good thing (for him) that they self-express instead of getting impacted, which could easily happen.  I just don't want to be caught in the line of fire.

Note to friends: he should be perfectly safe to handle for at least a week.  He's shot his load.  So don't worry about petting him next time you see him.
naamah_darling: Close cropped image of a blonde ponytailed man with a woman pulling a black stocking tightly around his neck. (BDSM)
2013-07-28 08:26 pm

Randomness, mostly involving cat butthole.

I try not to go this long without posting, but Livejournal is so quiet these days. Yes, I'm aware of the irony of complaining about that after not posting for 12 days.

I've felt pretty good, lately. Stable.

I have little energy, but my spirits have been good, and the panic attacks and general hovering anxiety have dissipated. They're barely clouds on the horizon, and only occasionally threaten. They'll come back, they always do, but it's better for right now.

The balance of meds is right. I'm learning to steer without yanking the controls. Small adjustments. Little things I can do. It doesn't put a roof on the anxiety or a floor on the depression, but it minimizes bouncing between the two, which is exhausting and demoralizing.

There are things to worry about, if I allow myself to worry, but I mostly try not to. They're things out of my control, or things I can affect, but I can only do so much at a time.

The cats are doing well, mostly. Fish and Sif are stressed from the boys wanting to play all the time, and because they are assholes, they play rough. I try to minimize this, but it's constant. And frustrating. They had their second aderpshun day early this month, and they still act like kittens. Smooch because he has atrocious impulse control issues, and Etrigan because he's too stupid to mature past that extremely stupid kitten phase. They are both full of love and intermittently very, very smelly.

I can't remember if I posted about it here, or just briefly on Facebook, and I am too lazy to go look, but several weeks ago, Sargon lifted Etrigan off the back of a chair I was sitting in, and the little asshole tensed up and accidentally vented his anal glands on the back of my head.

The stench was horrific and RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD. All of my clothes had to go into the washer without touching the floor or any other furniture, and I was making incoherent and completely involuntary gargling noises the whole time. It was briefly worse when I got in the shower, because the hot water basically turned it into one of those scent-diffuser things, and the entire bathroom was bathed in the lovely aroma of cat musk. It was an awful lot like being inside Satan's sweaty butthole. I had to shampoo twice with a vinegar rinse before each one to break the stink down. My hair was really soft afterwards, at least.

It was, of course, fucking hilarious, and since it didn't get on the chair, no real harm was done. I can smell again, and everything.

Shit-For-Brains, though, is getting his ass-pimples popped next time I take him to the vet, because, while there is nothing wrong with him that is making him do this -- his anal glands are not impacted or anything like that, and the stuff that comes out looks and smells normal for cat musk . . . some cats just do this more often than other cats -- I'm just tired of him doing it, because he manages to butt-stink on something about once every three or four months, and someday it's going to get on something I cannot wash and could not replace. And that stuff is powerful.

Luckily, the Banfield we take him to has a vet tech there known as Anal Gland Girl. How's that for a superhero name? Apparently she's good at it, and doesn't mind being ASSigned the chore.

And on that note, I believe I shall leave you.

For god's sake, ask some questions or provide me with things you want to hear me blither on about, because I miss the interaction, but my brain has simply not been equal to the task of deciding how to fill the silence.
naamah_darling: A very sweet-faced one-eyed Himalayan cat with a crooked jaw. (Cats)
2013-07-16 08:12 am

Etrigan is a goof.

Etrigan's new brush 1

Etrigan's new brush 2

So, [personal profile] brightlotusmoon sent me some goodies, and there was a brush inside, and Etrigan evidently loves it.

This last week has been hard on everyone, and I think we could all use a moment of levity.
naamah_darling: A tiny week-old tabby kitten with her paws raised and her eyes half-closed. (Kittens)
2013-04-10 05:30 pm

Etrigan, by request.

Etrigan Von Asshole, folks:

Asshole Cat is an Asshole 02

He's kind of pants at cuddling.

More here! )

And, finally, a video.

Or a link if that does not work.

He purrs the whole time. Also, he falls off the chair about halfway through when I was trying to blow in his ear to get him to do this thing he does where he goes "MRRRRR!" in this kind of pitiful way that makes me laugh so hard. The other thing it makes him do is roll around like a dumbass, so he rolled right off the edge.

Warning: I say "Asshole" A LOT. Also, I baby talk. And I repeat myself when I baby talk. Because cats like to hear their names. And his name is "Asshole."

The video cut me off. The last line should be "'Cause you're an asshole."
naamah_darling: Sepia picture of Heath Ledger from A Knight's Tale with the words "I Miss You." (Heath Miss You)
2013-03-16 12:21 pm

Hairy beasts and goblin bones.

Tazendra. The Mocus. Stinker. Pantaloons. Circus Ape. Gorilla Lips. The Creature Known As "the Mocator."

I lost her two years ago last night, and it's still like hitting that missing stair on the way down every single time.

Long before she died, I made the decision to have her bones professionally cleaned and prepared, and I made the arrangements with Skulls Unlimited some time in advance. They did a good job.

It wasn't a decision I came to lightly. I'm not a stranger to pet loss. I've had something like 25 cats in my life, and all but four of those are gone now. The one unifying thread of regret is that I have nothing of any of them but pictures. I didn't want that to be the case with her.

Now I have her bones in a box near where I sleep, where I can reach her, and that's comforting.

I've meant to get some good photographs of her for a while now, and yesterday seemed a good time. I think the results came out well, and I'm willing to let them stand for the time being as final portraits. I'm aware some people find it disturbing, which I do understand, so the squeamish among you may want to turn aside. No hard feelings.

In the meantime, a picture of her with her fur on:

Tazendra Sepia 01

Cut for kitty bones. )

But, really, this is how I remember her best:

Dey Had Teef Like Dif

I have never stopped laughing like a dumbass over that picture, and a 9x12 copy of it sits next to her box. She was beautiful, in her cockeyed goblin way, but she was also a ridiculous moldy pajama bag of a cat with a heart brim-full of loathing for all living beings save myself. She was consistently one of the best and most hilarious things in my life.

I've had a couple of people ask, over the past two years, but yes, those of you who see me IRL are welcome to visit her wee little bones anytime. I don't mind at all.

Anyway, questions welcome, if you have them. It's not a subject I'm touchy about at all, so it won't bother me.

Thank you, by the way. You guys have been lovely about it since she went, and I appreciate all the sympathy more than I can say.

I can honestly say, all of the other cats I've had were, in comparison to her, "just cats." She was something else entirely.
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
2013-02-21 12:31 am

Loads of kitty pics!

A couple folks asked how the cats are doing. Fish and Sif are all right, just bitchy and crazy, respectively. Sif doesn't do much, and Fish mostly skulks and poops on the floor, so, nothing terribly photogenic going on there.

You get the boys today.

Etrigan first, because he's an asshole. (He actually answers to "Asshole". The folks at the vet find this amusing.)

Etrigan and Bunnsley 1
Pictures of a black panther kitty go here. )
Next, Smooch! He's still funny-looking.

Yeti-cat. )

Sometimes he comes awake from a dead sleep with a startled sort of yawp, or a spit. He has nightmares, poor dude. I don't know what about, but they bother him, and sometimes he cries afterward and I have to put everything down and run over and comfort him, because Jesus Christ, a sad Yeti is the saddest fucking thing you ever saw.


Sometimes he decides he wants to nibble my fingers. The inside of his mouth is seriously fucked up.

Anyway, there you go. Cat pics for a Wednesday.
naamah_darling: A very sweet-faced one-eyed Himalayan cat with a crooked jaw. (Cats)
2013-02-04 09:21 pm

Queen of the Sky Frontier and other campaign news!

So! News!

Queen of the Sky Frontier is at 71% funded!

We have 10 days left, and $917 to go.

I think we can make this. Five or ten bucks, or even a dollar at a time. So give us a hand!

I've ordered the ribbon for the bookmarks, and the charms are on the way. Hopefully there will be no surprises there, but I'm not super-concerned. Mostly I'm just looking forward to making them! They are SO much fun!

In other news, Createspace has shipped the copies of Pride and Prostitutes to us. The delay wasn't our fault. There's been a whole hassle with Createspace not being able to get them printed straight, and negotiations dragged out, but they're trying to put it right. We have half of them, and are waiting on the other half to arrive. They look great, though. They really do.

Book and Bookmark 2

See? There's one of the bookmarks! The Sky Frontier ones will be black with pirate-y danglies! You can secure your own right here! No porn purchase required.

And, to leave you with something identifiably cute, here's a cat.

Etrigan thinks sexy steampunk pirate porn is the shit. Here he is, smarming it up for the camera:


He looks so healthy, no? Yeah, well, he's asthmatic as fuck, and requires monthly payments at the vet's to keep him on the steady, so if you donate a dollar, you're helping with that.

Yes, I am shameless, but LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE. LOOK AT IT.

Looking at him, you'd never know he's a Twinkie-thieving little asshole who has had to go to Kitty Prison twice this week for holin' while we're trying to watch a movie or roleplay. Doesn't matter. He gives good snuggle when he feels like it and is ludicrously entertaining. And have I mentioned he is stupid as a box of raisins?

Anyway, hope your Monday was tolerable, and I shall now leave you to it!

Signal boost, throw in a buck or two, or just point and laugh and share stupid cat stories. Whatever. We love you guys.