naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
In other news, I received a not-entirely-unexpected kick to the groin that is my life. I've now been turned down for insurance twice, meaning that very soon I will not have insurance.

I can't explain the situation fully. It's all acronyms and if/thens and deductibles and bullshit and so forth. I don't understand it at all, which makes me feel exceedingly stupid -- also helpless -- but Sargon has been working on it, and it's just not coming together in a way that we can afford.

I thought that if we paid for the COBRA coverage we wouldn't have these problems. Apparently there's a way out of that for the insurance shitheads, because they've denied me based on my preexisting conditions. I'm eligible for "high risk" insurance, which is more expensive than not having it at all.

Being denied coverage because of my thyroid condition and my mental health issues sucks. I did nothing to cause or deserve these things (and even if I had, that's not their fucking business to determine). I manage this shit very well with comparatively little intervention. It makes me angry, it makes me sick, it makes me sad, and I wish to god it didn't make me feel like pond slime, but it does because some part of me believes that if I had just sucked it the fuck up and held on, that I would never have been diagnosed and could not now be denied because I am a human being with the temerity to not have perfect mental health.

AND GUESS WHAT IS NOT HELPING MY MENTAL STATE? YOU SHITPICKING INSURANCE FUCKNECKS, THAT'S WHAT. Thanks a lot, you soulless piss-gargling anal sores. Go suck horse cock-sized shit popsicles in hell. And may the wind from Satan's colon boil your eyes in their sockets and strip the flesh from your bones for a thousand thousand years. Amen.

Sargon, because he doesn't have any chronic health problems and thus theoretically won't actually need the insurance, is insurable.

I love their logic. And by "love," I mean I would like to break all their bones, force-feed them bees, blood-puke, and maggot cheese, drown them in chilled menstrual blood, and then serve them to a pit full of angry wild pigs. Like revolting human ortolans. It would at least be a use for them. If all the insurance world had but a single throat. . . .

I know that many of you, and I suspect the majority, have gone through something similar, probably worse, so I don't need to go into further detail about it. It's just shitty. And it makes me feel shitty. Like I am not worth taking care of. I have nowhere to focus my anger, so it goes inward. I hate this.

Doctors have been fucking me over for 15+ years. I suppose it's not surprising that insurance assholes would get in on that action at some point.

I'm so tired of hearing about shit like this happening to other people, even more than I am pissed at it happening to me. It's so fucking stupid and so fucking unfair. Evil. Actually evil.

I guess the next step is to try to get myself on disability. I won't even go into the enormously complex shitpile of feelings I have about that.


naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)

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